Happy Anniversary to my Blog - 1 year and 3 days ago, Gail and Greta's Blog became reality, my days of maternity leave were just starting, and out of boredom I thought I would write a few tidbits of my experiences. Where did the year go, how is it possible I have been away from work for a full year, or better yet, how did I survive - if you start from the beginning of the blog - survival was really not expected. I am happy to say - if I can survive a year of motherhood, and maybe more importantly, Greta has survived almost 11 months - Anybody can succeed! I had never changed a diaper, passed babies back to their mothers when they cried, squirmed, looked annoyed, puked, stunk....and that is now my life. I'm not saying it's all fun - Greta's diapers can still make my hair stand up straight and make me gag, there are moments of sheer frustration, sleep deprivation thankfully hasn't been much of an issue - but when it does it - it royally sucks, my shopping habits have changed from spoiling myself to spoiling a little girl because there are too many cute things to buy and life as we knew it as DINKs ( Dual Income No Kids ) has been forever changed. It has been quite a journey, a year of ups and downs all made better by a sweet little girl who we never dreamt would be part of our lives, but here she is, learning something new every day, charming those around her with her (usually) pleasant personality and cute looks, not to mention her stylish wardrobe. And sadly, just as life is starting to be fun and structured and easier - I have to return to work. Why does work have to get in the way. I really think babysitters / daycares should take the babies from birth to lets say 4 or 5 months of age, then our year of Maternity Leave should start - the first few months are a tad rough, but after a few months when you realize hey, I think the child likes me, I think I may like her - I think we will survive - then the fun begins. It is going to be a tough transition, I do hope Greta will succeed at the sitter, I'm sure she will, I'm not fooling myself to think I'm the greatest fun person out there, I'm sure there are days she is bored out of her mind with me and will thrive in a new environment, but I'm wondering how in the heck I will survive. Not emotionally, I'm ready for the sitter transition, I'm wondering how in the heck I'm going to get out of my pjs in to REAL clothes - not pjs to yoga outfit - and out the door, make up and hair presentable and to the office by 7am. UMMM, I am going to have to practice next week, even setting an alarm, oh my it seems like such a tough challenge, motherhood was nothing compared to this latest hurdle, I have to get up and out the door again and this time, I have a baby to organize as well. I know others do it, so it will happen, but sitting here typing it seems so impossible!
Another thing about this year flying by - I still have things on the TO DO list that didn't get done - I had a full year and the closets are not all cleaned out and organized, my French Tapes I bought a few weeks before Greta was born to improve my speaking ability are still sealed (actually I am not even sure where in the house they are), the gardens I thought I would work on have seen the seasons pass by and my hands maybe pulled out 50 weeds (and that was just last night), the yard sale I planned on having last summer, and then this spring - not yet reality, oh, the list goes on and on. I did accomplish a lot though, so it wasn't a year of being home and just playing and surviving with Greta. We finally renovated the kitchen which has been on my TO Do list since we moved (Happy Anniversary to our house this week too), painted the remaining rooms in the house that were in need of a reno, bought a new vehicle, two trips to the States, made a lot of purchases over the year some out of want others out of need...to really look at the past 12 months, it is amazing what has been accomplished. I am so happy I was picture and video happy - some may say obsessive, but with a poor memory like mine and family & friends who don't see Greta on a regular basis people have been able to share Greta's year with us, as a bonus, it allows me to update the baby book with some accuracy, as the many firsts she accomplished are captured in pictures and every once in awhile I realize they should be transferred to the baby book! So for the Mama's to be - there is never such a thing as TOO many photos, I can look back and recall the first bath, first smile, first scoot across the floor, first kiss from the dog, first wave, first food, you name it - it has been captured - if I didn't have all the picture albums, I wouldn't have believed it all happened!
My only regret this year (some may assume I have more - but I really don't - things happen for a reason, people enter and exit your life for a reason and I have zero regrets about that) but my biggest regret has been the time I have missed because of my health. Greta didn't deserve to have a sick Mommy, no child does. The poor little thing I am sure thinks the Doctors and Specialists in my life are her family, besides my Mother, she has seen them more than all the other relatives combined. She has never made shy with any Dr's or office staff members - WHY, because they see her weekly! They have watched her grow and always love to see her, I am not sure what they will do when she is at the sitter and I show up alone - I have a funny feeling the first comment will be "Where is Greta!" In her short life, I just completed my 4th Biopsy, had what feels like my 100th blood test and 50th medical appt, I should be glowing from all the scans and Xrays I have had, I have 10 hospital visits under my belt, 3 specialists and lets be kind and say about 5 wrong diagnosis (although that was just a week span at the QEH, so I assume it is much more). I have seen some wonderful nurses and some dreadful ones, some knowledgeable Dr's and some who I think found their medical degree in a Cracker Jack Box, I can definitely say, the best thing that has happened was landing in the Moncton Hospital during a recent shopping trip / visit as Greta just may have a Mommy who will have some answers and a new medical team who is going to try to fix me. I have been quite fearful at times and shed many tears thinking I wouldn't be here to see her first birthday, but I think we just may make it! I am thankful for my Mother who has had to make so many trips to PEI to help because I was in the hospital or heading for tests, and to Darren who continually has to take time off to watch Greta or me...I have been worried his work would not believe him, surely no one needs to see this many Dr's, I feel like I should send his bosses my medical charts as proof..ha!
So, that is a quick review of my thoughts today. Greta is trying to climb up the couch, and getting impatient..must run - will spell check later...so deal with the mistakes for a bit!!!
Toodles.
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