For a bit over a week, I have thought about this blog post, which gives me an enormous amount of goose bumps and an overall uneasy feeling. As I was driving home from the USA, after a very successful (too successful) shopping excursion, I truly wondered if I would make it home. Hurricane force rains fell from the sky, and my friend Lisa and I at times could barely see the roads, my hands were clenched around the steering wheel so tight my hands continued to cramp. When I safely landed in NB and dropped Lisa off, I headed on the rest of my journey solo, experiencing more frightening and stressful periods of rain. As I drove alone, I started to think about all the people who have influenced me, about the individuals who have come in to my life (and some who have exited) and what impact they had on who I was, who I am today and who I may become. Of course, the pessimistic side of me also thought, I could die, not in a year or two from liver disease, but on this trip home ... and I wondered if people truly knew what impact they have made on my life. I started to think about what I would tell people, what I would want people to know. I of course, arrived home and didn't put the fingers to the keyboard, so nothing was written. That is until now. Tonight, one of my oldest friends on the Island (and by oldest, I mean I have known the longest) called to let me know that the lady who was responsible for my career path in employment / career counseling, who recommended me for a position at Social Services, who took me under her wing and passed on more wisdom on how to treat those less fortune with respect, dignity, kindness, genuineness, had passed away this morning. To say I was in shock was an understatement, I think there are people you think will just always be there, that I would always see again. I think the feeling of shock was magnified as I have thought of this mentor numerous times over the past few days, almost strangely, as I haven't seen her in a few years. Through her daughter, I have passed on my hello's and well wishes, and caught up on the latest news, but I oddly since my trip home last week from the States kept thinking I really need to send her a letter, or to stop by the youth group she works with to say hello. I was angry with myself that I hadn't made that visit, or hadn't sent that letter. I know she knew how much she meant to me, I told her many times and recently told her daughter how much I admired her Mom, but what a strange feeling, it was as if my mind was telling me something just wasn't right, and that I needed to make a visit happen. And now it is too late. I also have to face reality, I have no idea when my time may come to an end, I perhaps have a very long life ahead, perhaps I will have a few liver transplants, maybe I have a few years before my health deteriorates, reality is - you just never do know. What would you do if you knew you didn't have tomorrow, who would you call, what would you want people to know? Who has meant something in your life....do they know? Do you have regrets...do you have time to turn back the clock?
So, here it goes, while I can't possibly name each person, if I was to leave this earth tomorrow, I need to say:
Greta - you are the reason that I fight to get better, the reason that I want to survive my medical hurdles. You are the most beautiful, sweet, smart, little girl and while we may have had a shaky 9 months before your arrival (and I was fearful you were going to be a little alien from your early profile pics in my belly), the day you were born, a Mommy was born as well, and I would not change the experience for anything in this world. You truly are a miracle baby, and each day make me smile, laugh and realize just how lucky I am that you chose me to be your Mom. I hope that despite being spoiled, you will also be grateful for what you have, appreciative of what you have been given, and for the opportunities you will be guided towards. I will always live amongst the stars.
Haley - To my favorite niece...you changed our family the second you were born - and absolutely for the better. You are so very special to so many people. I hope you always have your confidence, your determination, your interest to try things, I wish I was as outgoing and energetic as you. You are going to achieve what ever you set your mind too. I hope you know what an amazing individual you are, and all those who have a chance to know you will see that! You are beautiful, inside and out, and I am so proud I am your Aunt.
Darren - You certainly got the rotten end of the deal of "in sickness and health"...why you have stuck by me defies reason, and deserves a reward that does not exist. You are the most amazing Daddy, and I know Greta could not possibly have a bigger supporter, fan, play mate, confidant, provider and loyal parent, we are both so very lucky to have you in our lives and I will be forever grateful that we shared this journey together - the good, the bad and the ugly. Thank you for being by my side when I least deserved it and for being the best friend I needed!
Mom - Everything I am or hoped to be I owe to my Mother. You work too much, you need to stop, life is too short! However I know work has allowed you to provide us with every opportunity or experience we could have ever imagined. Your kindness, support and thoughtfulness is unwavering and always has been. I see myself doing things that mimic you every day, and for that, I am so very proud. You mean the world to all of us... Now - Retire and start living....you can still shop on a Pension!
Aunt Peg - The matriarch of our family, the glue that has no doubt kept us all together. And everyone's favorite! My favorite memories of Port Elgin included dashing in to Nana and Grampy's house, saying our quick hellos and running up through the beaten path to your house. I look at that field now and there is no beaten down path, but I still "see" it and imagine us running - I mean despite there rarely being a car on the road - we always did the path, never the road! You are the most special, caring and supportive individual, I love that Greta will grow up knowing how special you are to all of us, and experience the visits to Port Elgin, the delicious cookies in the cupboard and who knows, perhaps a beer or two when she is old enough...How lucky we are to have someone like you to look up to!
Chris J - My dearest friend, who has been part of my life since we were 14 years old. Your friendship and support has meant more to me than I could ever articulate. It is amazing to look back, we could never not be friends, we know too much about each other - it could be dangerous. I have absolutely loved being a part of your journey, your successes, your marriage to your soul mate, your journey to fatherhood. I am so happy I was part of your journey and you a part of mine. Someday we will be able to tell Greta, Emily and Ethan how in the "old days" there was something called a land line telephone, and we would chat until the wee hours of the night, fall asleep, and start talking again in the AM. Ha, too funny - can you imagine - that type of phone is already classed as "retro"...see what the next generation will miss out on.
My elementary school friends - I love Facebook for many reasons - but mostly for each of you! While our paths have found us from coast to coast, I have some of the most amazing memories of Salmon River Elementary in Truro, NS = birthday parties, Barbie Dolls, playing when your parents let you stay out to dark and you would hear the parents as night fell scream out names to come home. I dare say we will never see that day with our children, but what a wonderful childhood and a great place to grow up. I absolutely love that via social media I have been able to reconnect with so many of you and share in your adult lives, see your children grow up, and share in some wonderful and sad events. I also have to say, I admire so much what strong friendships you all have, as I grew older, I always hated the fact that I moved so much, and still wish I had that life long friendship I see so many of you share with each other. Know that when I see you writing each other, about planning your visits or making plans to get together, it puts a smile on my face each time and I always think how amazing it is that your best friend from elementary school is still your best friend.
University connections - as a "come from away" - arriving on little ole PEI, and moving in to the dorms was the time of my life. My first drink...my first time skipping class...my first 50% on a math exam....what a grand time! I loved "just about" every minute of university (well, at least the social aspect). If I had a bucket list back at 18, I am sure I would have knocked off most of that list during my first 2 years. I miss drinking games, and skipping class to watch the soaps, I miss decorating the doors for Christmas, I miss playing cards and listening to George Jones while we drank vodka and jack daniels! I miss bad cafeteria food and knowing that Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, we always had plans and they were always great plans! I am also thankful I never got hangovers! I miss Hotels, and Asshole, and Caps...perhaps if the day comes that I can have a drink again - we should have a little reunion and move in to Bernadine Hall...granted, I lived mostly at Marion Hall - but it is not offices - so that may be looked down upon! To all those who shared my University Days with, you all have meant so much and I am thankful for the path we each had.
To my special friend, Janet - For years, I would always say to people, Janet - my neighbour, then it was Janet, my old neighbour....but of course, you are so much more than that. My friend, my second mother, Scarlet's favorite babysitter, our helper...you mean so much to all of us and we are so thankful that Belvedere Avenue brought you in to our lives. Thank you for everything you have done for us, and continue to do.
My co-workers, Tracey, Renilda, Colette, Tracy - it feels like we have been together for such a long time, I guess a few of us have been, how wonderful it is to go to work and have friends who are true and genuine. I am so very fortunate to have met each of you, to share our laughs, our lunches, and even better - our spare time together - a sign of true work friendship - when you actually like each other enough to do things after hours together....ha! And best yet - we have all shopped together!
To those who have broke my heart - well, just thought I would let you know, it all made sense in the end....to those young gals reading this - your heart will be broken many times, healed again, and broken again....and it will all turn out just fine! I have cared for many people and have had amazing relationships, amazing families that I felt part of, that have guided me and influenced me in various ways. I think I have taken something from just about everyone I shared my life with, and I look through my house at times and think - that is what so-in-so would have done. I will hold a special place in my heart and thankful to those who I still consider a friend - to a few however - be thankful we don't run in to each other, I could accelerate instead of brake!!! HA! Kind of just joking.
And to my mentor, Clara, I dedicate this post to you. Your legacy will live on, your memory will live on ... the lives of so many were directly impacted because of your passion to help others.
Toodles
Someday my prince will come, but Daddy will always be King!
Daddy's Girl
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
I hope....
I forewarn, this could get sappy...my fingers are going to start typing and I am not going back to fix typo's or grammar (heck, I never fix grammar - I was no English Major!!)
Each time my health takes a dip / turn I start to worry, while some are kind and say I am positive or brave and have a good outlook, that is bull...I am a pessimistic worry wart and wonder if I will awake the next morning. I am scared to death of dying, of leaving Greta, of leaving Darren with a 3 year old to raise on his own, I am scared she won't remember me and if she will someday call someone else Mom. I worry about who will make sure she has a good wardrobe and if losing a mother at such a young age will mean she will become a drug addict by 10. See, my mind is full of it ... I just worry, all the time, if my blood pressure was not so drastically low to start with, I would be concerned my heart and head could explode, as I can sometimes feel the pressure rising...this has been one of those weeks. While I hardly needed another medical hurdle on my medical chart, an unexpected annoyance has popped up and I found myself in dreadful pain ... have I experienced worse pain - definitely, but that involved an inexperienced Dr putting an extremely large biopsy needle through my stomach, in to my liver, only to miss and me screaming in pain because I could feel it - then had him inject more lidocaine in to me causing an almost deadly allergic reaction - so, yes, I have had more pain, but this week has sucked! But, alas, when I worry lots, I wonder, is this the time I need to start writing letters to Greta for each of her birthdays and tucking them away, should I go buy her birthday presents and milestone occasion gifts for her graduation day, her wedding day, the birth of her first child...I will want to do this, but if I do this, does this mean I give up and I think I won't survive much longer...so much stress! I have decided to start buying her jewellery, if I am around to give it to her, wonderful, if not, Daddy can give it to her when she is old enough to take care of it and appreciate it. I guess I will hand over my carat to her as well ...certainly won't get buried with diamonds..ha!
I did have a purpose to my blog tonight, I thought since it was such a long time since I wrote out my wishes for Greta (a few days before she was born I do believe) I thought it was time to pass along a few life lessons / wishes (I really do hope I'm here to tell her each of these as she gets older, at the appropriate time, but if not, I hope she will live life to the fullest and will enjoy the blog posts as she gets older) Now, please, do not get offended, just because I don't want Greta to be a tattooed freak, does not mean I think all those with tattoo's are freaks or bad people - perhaps I just think you have bad taste and forget someday you will be 80...but seriously (okay, that was serious) but really seriously, these are not meant to offend people and I'm certainly not talking about people...these are my wishes and life lesson's, some I have fortunately / unfortunately experienced, others I wish I had! To my niece Haley, these are for you too....although some you may have already by-passed.
1. Find a few good friends and stick with them through thick and thin. There will be a lot of people who pretend they are your friend, or will be your friend when they need something, but if you are lucky enough to just have one or two that you can trust, be thankful.
2. Tell the truth
3. Learn a second language
4. Go to school dances and dance.... (I never did, and I think I missed out)
5. The geeks really are the nice guys, who will be by your side when you need someone the most.
6. You usually will get back together with an ex....in many cases you will also quickly realize why they were an ex. If this happens - escape - quickly! If you are fortunate however, you will realize you were just better friends, maintain this friendship, he knows too much about you and you need a friend to get you through the next relationship!
7. When a Dr says it won't hurt - it will....but only for a short while.
8. If you believe strongly in something or someone - fight for it/them.
9. You may fail, that is okay...life will go on and the world will not end. It is only a test, only an exam, only a job interview, only a date....it is all part of the grand plan.
10. Believe in something - Santa, angels, life after death, something...
11. Be smart with your money, but if you really want something, buy it....life is too short.
12. Send Christmas Cards - not Email Cards, real Christmas Cards where you have to actually write your name. I pray that there will be such a thing as snail mail and stamps when you get older....but until they disappear, make this a tradition!
13, Don't rely on the computer to communicate - talk to people, write notes, use a phone book and call friends. Technology is going to ruin human interaction, make an effort to make real connections!
14. Don't underestimate the power of a kind gesture, send flowers, write notes, make a call, it could brighten the darkest day.
15. Smile at strangers, you never know, it may be the kindest thing that happened to them all day.
16. There is an appropriate time to dance on tables - do it, as long as you won't get arrested!
17. Don't do drugs - ever! There is no need for it, you are smart, beautiful, independent, you don't need it!!!!
18. Don't smoke cigarette's - I mean it.
19. Enjoy an Alabama slammer (when you are of age)...nothing like a bit of Jack Daniels and Brandy to make you happy...but at 19...not before! Lord, could I ever use one!!!
20. Never drink and drive - there is always someone to call, even if you get in trouble, it is better then you dying or hurting someone else.
21. Always wear a seat belt
22. There is really no reason for body piercings and tattoo's...you will be old and wrinkled someday, just remember that!
23. Stop caring what others think of you and be proud of the person you are (wish I practiced this)
24. Self Confidence is the most admirable trait, know you are fortunate and smart and beautiful and the world is yours to explore.
25. Don't ever bully, a bully will always be just that...a bully! Do you really want such a label. The nice kids, they will be sitting across a table interviewing that bully someday, and guess what, karma is a bitch.
26. Holding a grudge isn't always a bad thing...life is too short to accept people being rude, hurtful and deceitful towards you. It may be hard, but walking away from friendships or acquaintances can be good for all parties.
27. Rubbing alcohol helps with blemishes / pimples.
28. Learn to cook and bake...find a few recipes that everyone will always want you to bring to the party.
29. Go big at Christmas. Decorate, bake, wrap gifts until the wee hours, sometimes giving and finding that perfect gift is just as exciting as unwrapping the presents - actually, in my case, it is the best!
30. Education is important, but having common sense is even better! Ideally, I hope you have both!
31. Recognize that those who consistently brag or make you feel less of a person are doing so because something sucks in their life. You are just as smart, just as educated, just as experienced as they are - everyone just has different circumstances.
32. Some people are just assholes or jerks - that is there problem not yours. You don't have to like them!
33. You have to work hard for what you want...life will not hand you stuff, you need to put the effort in to achieve great things.
34. Always be kind to pets, the reward will be a companionship that will put a smile on your face each day.
35. Go on trips, it may be an hour away, 10 hours or via a plane, if you want to see the world, start saving and make it happen.
36. Always be honest at the International Borders....paying a little duty is so much better than having your car searched!
37. Try different foods, you may surprise yourself, you may actually like something you said you hated.
38. Make memories and capture them. Take as many pictures and video's as you can, and if you print pictures, always write the date and who is in the pic on the back - you will appreciate this when you are older!
39. Find a job you love and it won't feel like work. (ahh, those were the days)
40. Let those around you know how much they mean, before it is too late.
41. Don't live with regrets....if you can change something, do it.
42. You will get a pimple when you least want one, you will have a bad hair day, and your clothes won't fit right - it all sucks, but you will survive.
43. There is nothing like a country tune to lift your spirits.
44. Grease and Dirty Dancing are two of the best movies ever....watch them, over and over and over!
45. Find a hobby, play an instrument, participate in a sport - do something that makes you happy outside of school or work.
46. Start getting facials in your 20s, your skin will thank you when you are older!
47. Be grateful for the kindness people show you, for gifts, for assistance ... and send thank you notes!
48. Remember the good times, they will get your through the bad times.
49. Have a child of your own - even if you think you hate kids - you will love your own!
50. Remember me when I am gone, and know that I will live someday amongst the stars and will always be so proud to be your aunt / mother.
Toodles.
Update required....I shouldn't have stopped at 50 - thought of a few more, so we are now at November 8, 2013 and here are a few additional tidbits for "my list"....
51. Vanilla is an amazing staple that should always be in your cupboard, Watkins is my favorite - add an extra splash to cookies, cakes, pancakes - just about anything! And it will make your house smell devine.
52. Want your house to smell wonderful for guests who announce they are 10 minutes away - boil a pot of water and cinnamon on the stove, will make it seem like you based all morning
53. Try to eat healthy - but don't deny yourself treats! Life is definitely too short, just think of all those ladies who passed on the sweet table while on the Titanic - you will enjoy that piece of cake!!
54. Always recognize birthdays - and for lord sake, if Facebook is still around I don't mean say Happy Birthday on a Wall to your best friend - pick up the phone, send a card, a gift, acknowledge it - it will mean a lot to people that you remembered. To remember - make a list, mark it on a calendar, we have become a society who relies on Facebook to tell us when a special occasion is upon us! And don't post your birthday on such a site - your real friends will remember!
55. Always vote - if you don't, you have no right to complain! And don't vote for a party - vote for a person! Well, or in some cases - vote against a person!
56. You will no doubt understand through your first job and perhaps many jobs after that what it is like to work for minimum wage - who knows what that will be when you grow up - my first hourly wage for $4.25/hour.... lesson here - treat those who make minimum wage with the utmost respect - I tell you from experience (not my proudest moment I shall admit), but tick them off, expect bugs in your soup, donuts that were on the floor or food that is ready to expire on your plate or in your take out bag!!! And that girl/guy working at Tim's or McD's, could someday be your boss!!! Everyone has to start somewhere, just make sure you are nice along the way. It doesn't matter what the salary is, what the level is...everyone has something to bring to the table and should be treated with respect!
57. And if Government ever becomes an employer of choice again, and you chose such a career - I will haunt you forever if you become a "level person"...I mean it. EVERYONE has to start somewhere, when you start to "climb the infamous ladder", don't forget you were once in the entry role! And if you don't want to climb the "ladder", good for you!
58. Wear sunscreen!
59. There are a few things I am so thankful I have experienced - I have traveled to England and Europe as a teenager, I have been to Disney, I have been laid off a job - I got pissed and found a better job, I have had to make tough career decisions and had to test out "if the other side was greener" (just a heads up, it isn't always greener on the other side - just appears to be better mowed), I have had great relationships with amazing individuals, I moved away from home at 18 years of age and made my home in a different province and absolutely had the time of my life in University - even managed to get an education in amongst the fun, I have and feel confident I can survive just about anything that comes my way (while some things may be taken out of my hands to fight) - most hurdles, you can get through with a little determination and confidence...and definitely, who would have thought, I had the opportunity to experience Parenthood (and I think I did pretty damn good).
60. Take every piece of advice you are offered, or just told, with a grain of salt...
61. Never cheat - not on tests, exams, scrabble or on a boyfriend.
62. Give....generously, charitably and anonymously. Give because you want to give and make a difference, not to be recognized.
63. PJ bottoms are for bedtime - it is not a fashion trend - do NOT WEAR PJ BOTTOMS OUT IN PUBLIC. While we are at it...spandex isn't for everyone, nor are skinny jeans and belly tops...chose wisely, I would like you not to end up on the "Friends of Walmart Site"
64. For lord sake, order French Fries - frig the salad!
65. When you are posing for photos, or "posting" photos - keep in mind who will see them...your parents, grandparents, potential boss, chair of the scholarship fund...be smart.
66. You may think you are having a bad day, but remember, there is always someone worse off then you...it will make your troubles seem like nothing at all.
67. Watch the fashion trends and don't fall for them all....use common sense - leggings are not pants, this fad better go soon, spanx on the other hand - love them!!!
68. Start a memory box...if technology disappears and your first love notes are once again on paper, rather than a text - you will love to read them as an adult. There is a fine line between being a hoarder and just keeping some sentimental items (or all of them in my case)
69. There are a few things you shouldn't go cheap on - Ketchup is the first that comes to mind, but spend money on nice purses, quality shoes and good make up...oh and real spanx.
70. Follow your gut - I fully admit, I haven't always....but I hope you will. Even if you think the world will end if you do follow it - it will all work out in the end.
Now, signing off for the 2nd time...
Toodles!
Each time my health takes a dip / turn I start to worry, while some are kind and say I am positive or brave and have a good outlook, that is bull...I am a pessimistic worry wart and wonder if I will awake the next morning. I am scared to death of dying, of leaving Greta, of leaving Darren with a 3 year old to raise on his own, I am scared she won't remember me and if she will someday call someone else Mom. I worry about who will make sure she has a good wardrobe and if losing a mother at such a young age will mean she will become a drug addict by 10. See, my mind is full of it ... I just worry, all the time, if my blood pressure was not so drastically low to start with, I would be concerned my heart and head could explode, as I can sometimes feel the pressure rising...this has been one of those weeks. While I hardly needed another medical hurdle on my medical chart, an unexpected annoyance has popped up and I found myself in dreadful pain ... have I experienced worse pain - definitely, but that involved an inexperienced Dr putting an extremely large biopsy needle through my stomach, in to my liver, only to miss and me screaming in pain because I could feel it - then had him inject more lidocaine in to me causing an almost deadly allergic reaction - so, yes, I have had more pain, but this week has sucked! But, alas, when I worry lots, I wonder, is this the time I need to start writing letters to Greta for each of her birthdays and tucking them away, should I go buy her birthday presents and milestone occasion gifts for her graduation day, her wedding day, the birth of her first child...I will want to do this, but if I do this, does this mean I give up and I think I won't survive much longer...so much stress! I have decided to start buying her jewellery, if I am around to give it to her, wonderful, if not, Daddy can give it to her when she is old enough to take care of it and appreciate it. I guess I will hand over my carat to her as well ...certainly won't get buried with diamonds..ha!
I did have a purpose to my blog tonight, I thought since it was such a long time since I wrote out my wishes for Greta (a few days before she was born I do believe) I thought it was time to pass along a few life lessons / wishes (I really do hope I'm here to tell her each of these as she gets older, at the appropriate time, but if not, I hope she will live life to the fullest and will enjoy the blog posts as she gets older) Now, please, do not get offended, just because I don't want Greta to be a tattooed freak, does not mean I think all those with tattoo's are freaks or bad people - perhaps I just think you have bad taste and forget someday you will be 80...but seriously (okay, that was serious) but really seriously, these are not meant to offend people and I'm certainly not talking about people...these are my wishes and life lesson's, some I have fortunately / unfortunately experienced, others I wish I had! To my niece Haley, these are for you too....although some you may have already by-passed.
1. Find a few good friends and stick with them through thick and thin. There will be a lot of people who pretend they are your friend, or will be your friend when they need something, but if you are lucky enough to just have one or two that you can trust, be thankful.
2. Tell the truth
3. Learn a second language
4. Go to school dances and dance.... (I never did, and I think I missed out)
5. The geeks really are the nice guys, who will be by your side when you need someone the most.
6. You usually will get back together with an ex....in many cases you will also quickly realize why they were an ex. If this happens - escape - quickly! If you are fortunate however, you will realize you were just better friends, maintain this friendship, he knows too much about you and you need a friend to get you through the next relationship!
7. When a Dr says it won't hurt - it will....but only for a short while.
8. If you believe strongly in something or someone - fight for it/them.
9. You may fail, that is okay...life will go on and the world will not end. It is only a test, only an exam, only a job interview, only a date....it is all part of the grand plan.
10. Believe in something - Santa, angels, life after death, something...
11. Be smart with your money, but if you really want something, buy it....life is too short.
12. Send Christmas Cards - not Email Cards, real Christmas Cards where you have to actually write your name. I pray that there will be such a thing as snail mail and stamps when you get older....but until they disappear, make this a tradition!
13, Don't rely on the computer to communicate - talk to people, write notes, use a phone book and call friends. Technology is going to ruin human interaction, make an effort to make real connections!
14. Don't underestimate the power of a kind gesture, send flowers, write notes, make a call, it could brighten the darkest day.
15. Smile at strangers, you never know, it may be the kindest thing that happened to them all day.
16. There is an appropriate time to dance on tables - do it, as long as you won't get arrested!
17. Don't do drugs - ever! There is no need for it, you are smart, beautiful, independent, you don't need it!!!!
18. Don't smoke cigarette's - I mean it.
19. Enjoy an Alabama slammer (when you are of age)...nothing like a bit of Jack Daniels and Brandy to make you happy...but at 19...not before! Lord, could I ever use one!!!
20. Never drink and drive - there is always someone to call, even if you get in trouble, it is better then you dying or hurting someone else.
21. Always wear a seat belt
22. There is really no reason for body piercings and tattoo's...you will be old and wrinkled someday, just remember that!
23. Stop caring what others think of you and be proud of the person you are (wish I practiced this)
24. Self Confidence is the most admirable trait, know you are fortunate and smart and beautiful and the world is yours to explore.
25. Don't ever bully, a bully will always be just that...a bully! Do you really want such a label. The nice kids, they will be sitting across a table interviewing that bully someday, and guess what, karma is a bitch.
26. Holding a grudge isn't always a bad thing...life is too short to accept people being rude, hurtful and deceitful towards you. It may be hard, but walking away from friendships or acquaintances can be good for all parties.
27. Rubbing alcohol helps with blemishes / pimples.
28. Learn to cook and bake...find a few recipes that everyone will always want you to bring to the party.
29. Go big at Christmas. Decorate, bake, wrap gifts until the wee hours, sometimes giving and finding that perfect gift is just as exciting as unwrapping the presents - actually, in my case, it is the best!
30. Education is important, but having common sense is even better! Ideally, I hope you have both!
31. Recognize that those who consistently brag or make you feel less of a person are doing so because something sucks in their life. You are just as smart, just as educated, just as experienced as they are - everyone just has different circumstances.
32. Some people are just assholes or jerks - that is there problem not yours. You don't have to like them!
33. You have to work hard for what you want...life will not hand you stuff, you need to put the effort in to achieve great things.
34. Always be kind to pets, the reward will be a companionship that will put a smile on your face each day.
35. Go on trips, it may be an hour away, 10 hours or via a plane, if you want to see the world, start saving and make it happen.
36. Always be honest at the International Borders....paying a little duty is so much better than having your car searched!
37. Try different foods, you may surprise yourself, you may actually like something you said you hated.
38. Make memories and capture them. Take as many pictures and video's as you can, and if you print pictures, always write the date and who is in the pic on the back - you will appreciate this when you are older!
39. Find a job you love and it won't feel like work. (ahh, those were the days)
40. Let those around you know how much they mean, before it is too late.
41. Don't live with regrets....if you can change something, do it.
42. You will get a pimple when you least want one, you will have a bad hair day, and your clothes won't fit right - it all sucks, but you will survive.
43. There is nothing like a country tune to lift your spirits.
44. Grease and Dirty Dancing are two of the best movies ever....watch them, over and over and over!
45. Find a hobby, play an instrument, participate in a sport - do something that makes you happy outside of school or work.
46. Start getting facials in your 20s, your skin will thank you when you are older!
47. Be grateful for the kindness people show you, for gifts, for assistance ... and send thank you notes!
48. Remember the good times, they will get your through the bad times.
49. Have a child of your own - even if you think you hate kids - you will love your own!
50. Remember me when I am gone, and know that I will live someday amongst the stars and will always be so proud to be your aunt / mother.
Toodles.
Update required....I shouldn't have stopped at 50 - thought of a few more, so we are now at November 8, 2013 and here are a few additional tidbits for "my list"....
51. Vanilla is an amazing staple that should always be in your cupboard, Watkins is my favorite - add an extra splash to cookies, cakes, pancakes - just about anything! And it will make your house smell devine.
52. Want your house to smell wonderful for guests who announce they are 10 minutes away - boil a pot of water and cinnamon on the stove, will make it seem like you based all morning
53. Try to eat healthy - but don't deny yourself treats! Life is definitely too short, just think of all those ladies who passed on the sweet table while on the Titanic - you will enjoy that piece of cake!!
54. Always recognize birthdays - and for lord sake, if Facebook is still around I don't mean say Happy Birthday on a Wall to your best friend - pick up the phone, send a card, a gift, acknowledge it - it will mean a lot to people that you remembered. To remember - make a list, mark it on a calendar, we have become a society who relies on Facebook to tell us when a special occasion is upon us! And don't post your birthday on such a site - your real friends will remember!
55. Always vote - if you don't, you have no right to complain! And don't vote for a party - vote for a person! Well, or in some cases - vote against a person!
56. You will no doubt understand through your first job and perhaps many jobs after that what it is like to work for minimum wage - who knows what that will be when you grow up - my first hourly wage for $4.25/hour.... lesson here - treat those who make minimum wage with the utmost respect - I tell you from experience (not my proudest moment I shall admit), but tick them off, expect bugs in your soup, donuts that were on the floor or food that is ready to expire on your plate or in your take out bag!!! And that girl/guy working at Tim's or McD's, could someday be your boss!!! Everyone has to start somewhere, just make sure you are nice along the way. It doesn't matter what the salary is, what the level is...everyone has something to bring to the table and should be treated with respect!
57. And if Government ever becomes an employer of choice again, and you chose such a career - I will haunt you forever if you become a "level person"...I mean it. EVERYONE has to start somewhere, when you start to "climb the infamous ladder", don't forget you were once in the entry role! And if you don't want to climb the "ladder", good for you!
58. Wear sunscreen!
59. There are a few things I am so thankful I have experienced - I have traveled to England and Europe as a teenager, I have been to Disney, I have been laid off a job - I got pissed and found a better job, I have had to make tough career decisions and had to test out "if the other side was greener" (just a heads up, it isn't always greener on the other side - just appears to be better mowed), I have had great relationships with amazing individuals, I moved away from home at 18 years of age and made my home in a different province and absolutely had the time of my life in University - even managed to get an education in amongst the fun, I have and feel confident I can survive just about anything that comes my way (while some things may be taken out of my hands to fight) - most hurdles, you can get through with a little determination and confidence...and definitely, who would have thought, I had the opportunity to experience Parenthood (and I think I did pretty damn good).
60. Take every piece of advice you are offered, or just told, with a grain of salt...
61. Never cheat - not on tests, exams, scrabble or on a boyfriend.
62. Give....generously, charitably and anonymously. Give because you want to give and make a difference, not to be recognized.
63. PJ bottoms are for bedtime - it is not a fashion trend - do NOT WEAR PJ BOTTOMS OUT IN PUBLIC. While we are at it...spandex isn't for everyone, nor are skinny jeans and belly tops...chose wisely, I would like you not to end up on the "Friends of Walmart Site"
64. For lord sake, order French Fries - frig the salad!
65. When you are posing for photos, or "posting" photos - keep in mind who will see them...your parents, grandparents, potential boss, chair of the scholarship fund...be smart.
66. You may think you are having a bad day, but remember, there is always someone worse off then you...it will make your troubles seem like nothing at all.
67. Watch the fashion trends and don't fall for them all....use common sense - leggings are not pants, this fad better go soon, spanx on the other hand - love them!!!
68. Start a memory box...if technology disappears and your first love notes are once again on paper, rather than a text - you will love to read them as an adult. There is a fine line between being a hoarder and just keeping some sentimental items (or all of them in my case)
69. There are a few things you shouldn't go cheap on - Ketchup is the first that comes to mind, but spend money on nice purses, quality shoes and good make up...oh and real spanx.
70. Follow your gut - I fully admit, I haven't always....but I hope you will. Even if you think the world will end if you do follow it - it will all work out in the end.
Now, signing off for the 2nd time...
Toodles!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Public Service Announcement - You think you have it all figured out until you have a 3 year old!
Terrible two's - pffft, walk in the park. Three's, oh yes, three is where it is at...Lets get ready to rumble! I bring to you the facts that no one bothered to tell me (until I'm experiencing it - I am a planner - the warnings would have been appreciated) - that the terrible two's are nothing, it is the 3s where the real magic happens (of course I can only comment on the 3's (now that we are almost 4 months in, but I have been kindly warned, until they are about 20 they will still give you grief). I have become convinced the only reason the 3s didn't get an official "title" like the infamous Terrible Two's did is that the person who coined the term ensured the kids didn't make it to 3, if they had, it would have been the torturous mind numbing 3s, the f'n 4's, etc...you get it...it actually can get worse before it gets better!
Now, I have to fully admit, I judged...oh yes I did, I would see "those" parents with their kids (aka, psycho's, orangutans, screaming monsters, bossy brats, fill in the blank _______) and think, if in some la-la land if I ever became a mother, which was virtually impossible, my imaginary kids would NEVER ACT LIKE THAT, or DO THAT, or SAY THAT. Who am I kidding? I still do that, while I am reminded quite often, and both from watching / judging and by experiencing, I do know we have it good, Greta has had one mild temper tantrum, knows how to be respectful, is kind hearted and shy (while this does have some negatives, the positives are she is too shy to act out in front of people and hates people "watching her" - so this is perhaps why we haven't had any questionable moments in a store, restaurant, etc)....but, she is now 3 and with this lovely age comes a lot of actions that are less than desirable...And since no one told me, I will assume those reading also were not informed. So I write this to help you prepare, stock the liquor cabinet, plan your escape route, get good meds, buy more liquor, and get a buddy system, as some of this stuff just doesn't get talked about and you really need to pass this crap by someone - while you may not want to compare yourself to another mother, you will appreciate hearing this shit happens to other people. Oh, and if you are long past this stage, perhaps you are sitting back, with your glass of wine and can laugh and say, you amateur!
Not that anyone asks for my advice, I mean seriously, I'm sure I broke every "Perfect Mom Rule" in the book - I used bumper pads, I formula fed, I heated bottles in the microwave, I didn't put the handle of the car seat down, I allowed the animals to sleep next to her and she no doubt swallowed enough cat hair to cough up hair balls, I didn't make my own baby food, I didn't baby proof my house, lord, shall I continue! I did move my liquor cabinet for the record - granted, that was just a few months ago, but as most know, I have one healthy little gal, smart as anything, is gentle with animals and other people but she is now 3 and her life expectancy some days is questionable! (Okay, that part is a joke, my life expectancy is short, hence the reason I can laugh sometimes and think, I may only have a few more years of this crying, diva like attitude, etc). But, if I was asked for advice, I promise, I wouldn't be saying "your life will change forever, you will get sleep in a few months...oh no, I'm going to damn well tell the truth, so here it goes (again, I feel for those that have it worse, and I know some of you are no doubt struggling to put your three year old to bed at 10pm, that some probably cleaned up after their 3 year old threw their food across the room or just hit their baby sister), but 4 months in, this is what no one else wants to share:
1) They should have a show called Toddler Hoarders - yes folks, kids like to hoard things. I was that mother who said, "my house will not look like a day care centre"...now, thankfully due to the set up of our home, it doesn't, although start to go through that closed door and wow, it's flippin Toys R Us...And I am the main culprit. The child has enough toys to ensure it feels like Christmas each day, open a new box and wow, there it is, something new! I actually think the toys are like rabbits, they just keep multiplying...and be warned, you have enemies - oh yes, there will be those that give you those annoying toys - you know, the ones that require BATTERIES - holy hell, unless you absolutely hate someone, don't give toys with batteries, because toys with batteries make noise, annoying noise...now there are some acceptable toys with batteries, those are the ones with a secret on/off button, but only those are acceptable. Then your relatives will conspire to increase the toy volume in the house, just because the item was so irresistible. I think I am going to adopt a new rule, for every gift Greta receives, the person giving it has to take one toy to their house (I vote for the ones with batteries that wiggled their way in the door)...this may stop some of the insanity. And the biggest secret to three year olds toy collections - they like the Dollar Store toys just as much - if not better. I always love when Greta bypasses the Strawberry Shortcake Collection that I think is worth approximately $400 at last count for the squishy, dirty, cat hair filled ball like Caterpillar. Just when I think I can throw the filthy thing out, she finds it again! Oh yes, and the more toys, the more bins / baskets / organizing "pieces" you obtain. I will say, in our case, I do like them as Greta keeps a mighty tidy play room, but they are overtaking the playroom! Now, don't think (like I did) that all the toys would stay in the "designated bin", there will be that day when the child will say, I want that princess ball and low and behold that sucker is not in the ball bin...AHHH. For those with OCD, save yourself now, chop up the credit cards and never, every visit Walmart or Toys R Us with a child, you won't be able to handle the toy population!
2) Food for Tots - nothing shocks me more than to see Greta finish 90% of her meal and totally out of the blue push the plate away and announce, "I don't like that"...well, you liked the first 10 bites, as you have for the past 2 years and now all of a sudden you don't like that! Seriously. And the foods that you swore you would never feed the kids, oh yes, you will buy them, first out of ease and then second because gasp, they are the favorite foods...Greta asks for a hot dog at least 4 nights out of the week...I shall spare you my teaching experience where the class made hot dogs, I am still traumatized by the experience, so I get a little gag reflex each time she asks for one. Not that we give in, but sometimes we do, it's not worth the fight. And it is amazing, we quite often hear, "I don't like that"...of course, she hasn't tried it but then when she wants to have chocolate for dinner and you find yourself negotiating that if she tries a bite, she can have a piece of chocolate, you know you have succeeded in parenthood! SIGH! And is it just my house, or do all kids do this, she is full from her meal and I sit down to eat (most nights about an hour later) and low and behold, she pushed away her food, but now wants to dine off my plate, or drink my juice....SERIOUSLY! I remember my aunt saying, "I just wanted to eat a hot egg"....I get hot food on the plate, but then it is usually shared however with the dog, Greta and what remains is cool! No wonder I have been losing weight.
3) You think you have it easy because your 4 month old is sleeping through the night - you sucker! They will awake at night again, that is a ploy, just gets you comfy to think you have this great kid who slept through the night early, but let me guess, they have no teeth yet - oh yes, they will get up...but what is more annoying, just as you get comfy and think you have a sleeping toddler angel on your hands - BAM...they start to wake up again. Now with screams, "Mommy, I have to pee"...so you have to pee at 3 am, awesome, great job that you have bladder control and want to go to the bathroom instead of having an accident in bed, but do you seriously have to stay up for the day, or request to play or watch cartoons....or perhaps, you feel a sense of accomplishment when the pee break is just 15 minutes and they are back to dream land, but don't get too comfy, cause they will be awake again at 5 am...."Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared, come get me"...I swear, I had more sleep when Greta was 10 days old than I do now. No lie...so, enjoy your sleep while you can, it can get worse, much, much worse!
4) A 3 year old is needy - do you know how needy this age is - 100 times worse than a newborn, of course you have to cuddle, rock, change, bath, feed a baby, but at 3, they now tell you EXACTLY what their needs are, believe me, so much more enjoyable when you had to figure it out through cries. Now, it is, I want to play with this one particular toy, not any toy, the toy that is impossible to find because it is an inch high and the same damn color as 100 other toys in the bin. Let me give you an example, "Mommy, I can't find Dora, can you help me find Dora?" "Sure sweetie, oh, here she is"..."no, not that Dora, the other Dora", the search continues.. "here you go, I found Dora"...the attitude starts, "I said the one with the purple shirt, the blue shorts and the flower on her"...oh yes, that f'n Dora, the one we lost 6 f'n months ago, never to be seen again, but today, that is the only Dora that will do. Now, in most cases, I would run to the store and buy 10 friggin Dora's, but oh no, this one is 12 years old, a hand me down from my niece..there is only one! That is the needy I'm talking about. I could have devoted the entire blog to neediness... I want the strawberry shampoo, not the smurf shampoo, I want the pink shirt not the white shirt (that for the record was picked out with her approval the night before), and lately, I want to wear my dress coat everywhere....go for it darling...it is cute, who needs a formal coat to be in good shape, go play...really, this I don't mind, she looks cute and it can be washed! And be warned, the need factor usually rises significantly the moment you sit down, get on the phone, go to the shower, etc...they never need anything while you are with them, they seem to pounce like a cat. This is also the time I should say, you don't get to shower or have a relaxing bath alone for at least 3 years and I fear it may be longer, but I can't talk from experience for the longer just assuming as I don't yet feel there is an end in site....I long for the day that I can just relax in a hot tub, without a toddler sitting on the stool, asking to smell the soap, or wanting to draw something on the tub wall, or for me to play with rubber duckies, or the best pointing out that I have "big lumps"...
5) Three year olds do not lie - while this is an admirable trait, you have to realize does not lie also means, no filter...I have been told this past week that my legs were itchy (aka, hairy), my shirt looked like a Zebra, that I can't sing and that I was speeding and that was just in 24 hours....to maintain some amount of self dignity, I won't share other comments my sweet, adorable, way too honest daughter had to say. Now, this is not necessarily a bad trait, you want to know what is going on, send the private investigator 3 year old on the case, but be prepared for the entire truth, it may not be pretty! Of course, they don't just leave this honesty is the best medicine trait for the house, oh no, Greta has no issues telling others I can't sing, that I have big lumps and no doubt is off announcing the color of my underwear to her little friends - because oh yes - you won't get to dress by yourself for awhile either!
6) Get a share in Band aids - Greta, thankfully has never really hurt herself. No major falls, no big cuts, a few minor little bruises, but relatively lucky, but now that she is a 3 year old, she thinks a hang nail requires a band aid. She at one time was fearful of band aids, now I think she goes through a few a day. The good thing, band aids do cure absolutely everything, especially if they have Dora on them, so while worth the cost, running out of that special Dora band aid when a "real injury" happens (aka, she stubs her toe), a 3 year old diva attitude quickly turns the incident in to a life threatening event if the proper band aid is not available. Lesson - stock up!
7) Clothing - this I admit was a big judgement on my behalf...you know the kid who is wearing 5 different colors, or pjs for the 5th day in the row, out in public....toddlers think they have a sense of style and believe me, they know what they want. Now, I have stocked the closet with pieces that I like, so you would think this would be okay...however, we are now in the dress phase, and if it isn't a dress, skirt or tutu, it isn't worn. We still wear pants, but that means a tutu is part of the outfit. While I have yet to have her leave the house in pjs, or dirty clothes, she has a mind of her own and can be mighty strong when fighting me over an outfit. We do pick the outfits out the night before, but this plan doesn't always work! Patience isn't my strong point, but I now let her wear what she wants - out of the few choices I give her - a huge step for me, baby steps people, baby steps!
8) Crying - oh my lord, the child cries all the time, hitting on whining, but not quite, but definitely grates on the nerves and patience is really tested. I swear she didn't cry in the first 35 months collectively what she has in the last 4 months...she is so sensitive, I can barely handle it.
9) You will be the favorite one minute and then you are being told to "Get OUT"...of course, this usually happens in the bathroom, she wants me to be there, then Daddy, then Mommy, then Daddy....crying, screaming, get out, I don't want you, leave me, don't talk...oh, the joy, the joy! Yesterday, she was calling out for Daddy, when I arrived in the room, "I didn't call for you" was the greeting I received...thanks kid!
10) And all the above to say, even with the challenges, the fact that we as parents have been out once in 18 months, the exhaustion, I guess I have to admit, I can't imagine my life without a 3 year old. Okay, that is a lie, every once is a while, I think I would just like to go to supper or trivia, but then I remember, I need to be told I look like a zebra, I need to pick out a tutu for the next day, I need to color or play games, I need to put pretty braids in her long locks and I have to gain a little bit more of a fight in me to ensure my health struggles are put to the side so I can enjoy more frustration, aggravation and laughter, unconditional love and devotion from my little gal.....
Okay, that is the only sap you will get from me, hope you enjoyed the 3 year old public service announcement, and shame on all of you who didn't tell me about the true facts...and again, sorry to those who on top of this list also deal with temper tantrums, this post would have had a lot more swearing if I had to endure that, so I do feel for ya! I just assume she is holding out for a bit longer to work up the energy to make it a good one! And when it happens, I will certainly let you know.
Toodles!
Now, I have to fully admit, I judged...oh yes I did, I would see "those" parents with their kids (aka, psycho's, orangutans, screaming monsters, bossy brats, fill in the blank _______) and think, if in some la-la land if I ever became a mother, which was virtually impossible, my imaginary kids would NEVER ACT LIKE THAT, or DO THAT, or SAY THAT. Who am I kidding? I still do that, while I am reminded quite often, and both from watching / judging and by experiencing, I do know we have it good, Greta has had one mild temper tantrum, knows how to be respectful, is kind hearted and shy (while this does have some negatives, the positives are she is too shy to act out in front of people and hates people "watching her" - so this is perhaps why we haven't had any questionable moments in a store, restaurant, etc)....but, she is now 3 and with this lovely age comes a lot of actions that are less than desirable...And since no one told me, I will assume those reading also were not informed. So I write this to help you prepare, stock the liquor cabinet, plan your escape route, get good meds, buy more liquor, and get a buddy system, as some of this stuff just doesn't get talked about and you really need to pass this crap by someone - while you may not want to compare yourself to another mother, you will appreciate hearing this shit happens to other people. Oh, and if you are long past this stage, perhaps you are sitting back, with your glass of wine and can laugh and say, you amateur!
Not that anyone asks for my advice, I mean seriously, I'm sure I broke every "Perfect Mom Rule" in the book - I used bumper pads, I formula fed, I heated bottles in the microwave, I didn't put the handle of the car seat down, I allowed the animals to sleep next to her and she no doubt swallowed enough cat hair to cough up hair balls, I didn't make my own baby food, I didn't baby proof my house, lord, shall I continue! I did move my liquor cabinet for the record - granted, that was just a few months ago, but as most know, I have one healthy little gal, smart as anything, is gentle with animals and other people but she is now 3 and her life expectancy some days is questionable! (Okay, that part is a joke, my life expectancy is short, hence the reason I can laugh sometimes and think, I may only have a few more years of this crying, diva like attitude, etc). But, if I was asked for advice, I promise, I wouldn't be saying "your life will change forever, you will get sleep in a few months...oh no, I'm going to damn well tell the truth, so here it goes (again, I feel for those that have it worse, and I know some of you are no doubt struggling to put your three year old to bed at 10pm, that some probably cleaned up after their 3 year old threw their food across the room or just hit their baby sister), but 4 months in, this is what no one else wants to share:
1) They should have a show called Toddler Hoarders - yes folks, kids like to hoard things. I was that mother who said, "my house will not look like a day care centre"...now, thankfully due to the set up of our home, it doesn't, although start to go through that closed door and wow, it's flippin Toys R Us...And I am the main culprit. The child has enough toys to ensure it feels like Christmas each day, open a new box and wow, there it is, something new! I actually think the toys are like rabbits, they just keep multiplying...and be warned, you have enemies - oh yes, there will be those that give you those annoying toys - you know, the ones that require BATTERIES - holy hell, unless you absolutely hate someone, don't give toys with batteries, because toys with batteries make noise, annoying noise...now there are some acceptable toys with batteries, those are the ones with a secret on/off button, but only those are acceptable. Then your relatives will conspire to increase the toy volume in the house, just because the item was so irresistible. I think I am going to adopt a new rule, for every gift Greta receives, the person giving it has to take one toy to their house (I vote for the ones with batteries that wiggled their way in the door)...this may stop some of the insanity. And the biggest secret to three year olds toy collections - they like the Dollar Store toys just as much - if not better. I always love when Greta bypasses the Strawberry Shortcake Collection that I think is worth approximately $400 at last count for the squishy, dirty, cat hair filled ball like Caterpillar. Just when I think I can throw the filthy thing out, she finds it again! Oh yes, and the more toys, the more bins / baskets / organizing "pieces" you obtain. I will say, in our case, I do like them as Greta keeps a mighty tidy play room, but they are overtaking the playroom! Now, don't think (like I did) that all the toys would stay in the "designated bin", there will be that day when the child will say, I want that princess ball and low and behold that sucker is not in the ball bin...AHHH. For those with OCD, save yourself now, chop up the credit cards and never, every visit Walmart or Toys R Us with a child, you won't be able to handle the toy population!
2) Food for Tots - nothing shocks me more than to see Greta finish 90% of her meal and totally out of the blue push the plate away and announce, "I don't like that"...well, you liked the first 10 bites, as you have for the past 2 years and now all of a sudden you don't like that! Seriously. And the foods that you swore you would never feed the kids, oh yes, you will buy them, first out of ease and then second because gasp, they are the favorite foods...Greta asks for a hot dog at least 4 nights out of the week...I shall spare you my teaching experience where the class made hot dogs, I am still traumatized by the experience, so I get a little gag reflex each time she asks for one. Not that we give in, but sometimes we do, it's not worth the fight. And it is amazing, we quite often hear, "I don't like that"...of course, she hasn't tried it but then when she wants to have chocolate for dinner and you find yourself negotiating that if she tries a bite, she can have a piece of chocolate, you know you have succeeded in parenthood! SIGH! And is it just my house, or do all kids do this, she is full from her meal and I sit down to eat (most nights about an hour later) and low and behold, she pushed away her food, but now wants to dine off my plate, or drink my juice....SERIOUSLY! I remember my aunt saying, "I just wanted to eat a hot egg"....I get hot food on the plate, but then it is usually shared however with the dog, Greta and what remains is cool! No wonder I have been losing weight.
3) You think you have it easy because your 4 month old is sleeping through the night - you sucker! They will awake at night again, that is a ploy, just gets you comfy to think you have this great kid who slept through the night early, but let me guess, they have no teeth yet - oh yes, they will get up...but what is more annoying, just as you get comfy and think you have a sleeping toddler angel on your hands - BAM...they start to wake up again. Now with screams, "Mommy, I have to pee"...so you have to pee at 3 am, awesome, great job that you have bladder control and want to go to the bathroom instead of having an accident in bed, but do you seriously have to stay up for the day, or request to play or watch cartoons....or perhaps, you feel a sense of accomplishment when the pee break is just 15 minutes and they are back to dream land, but don't get too comfy, cause they will be awake again at 5 am...."Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared, come get me"...I swear, I had more sleep when Greta was 10 days old than I do now. No lie...so, enjoy your sleep while you can, it can get worse, much, much worse!
4) A 3 year old is needy - do you know how needy this age is - 100 times worse than a newborn, of course you have to cuddle, rock, change, bath, feed a baby, but at 3, they now tell you EXACTLY what their needs are, believe me, so much more enjoyable when you had to figure it out through cries. Now, it is, I want to play with this one particular toy, not any toy, the toy that is impossible to find because it is an inch high and the same damn color as 100 other toys in the bin. Let me give you an example, "Mommy, I can't find Dora, can you help me find Dora?" "Sure sweetie, oh, here she is"..."no, not that Dora, the other Dora", the search continues.. "here you go, I found Dora"...the attitude starts, "I said the one with the purple shirt, the blue shorts and the flower on her"...oh yes, that f'n Dora, the one we lost 6 f'n months ago, never to be seen again, but today, that is the only Dora that will do. Now, in most cases, I would run to the store and buy 10 friggin Dora's, but oh no, this one is 12 years old, a hand me down from my niece..there is only one! That is the needy I'm talking about. I could have devoted the entire blog to neediness... I want the strawberry shampoo, not the smurf shampoo, I want the pink shirt not the white shirt (that for the record was picked out with her approval the night before), and lately, I want to wear my dress coat everywhere....go for it darling...it is cute, who needs a formal coat to be in good shape, go play...really, this I don't mind, she looks cute and it can be washed! And be warned, the need factor usually rises significantly the moment you sit down, get on the phone, go to the shower, etc...they never need anything while you are with them, they seem to pounce like a cat. This is also the time I should say, you don't get to shower or have a relaxing bath alone for at least 3 years and I fear it may be longer, but I can't talk from experience for the longer just assuming as I don't yet feel there is an end in site....I long for the day that I can just relax in a hot tub, without a toddler sitting on the stool, asking to smell the soap, or wanting to draw something on the tub wall, or for me to play with rubber duckies, or the best pointing out that I have "big lumps"...
5) Three year olds do not lie - while this is an admirable trait, you have to realize does not lie also means, no filter...I have been told this past week that my legs were itchy (aka, hairy), my shirt looked like a Zebra, that I can't sing and that I was speeding and that was just in 24 hours....to maintain some amount of self dignity, I won't share other comments my sweet, adorable, way too honest daughter had to say. Now, this is not necessarily a bad trait, you want to know what is going on, send the private investigator 3 year old on the case, but be prepared for the entire truth, it may not be pretty! Of course, they don't just leave this honesty is the best medicine trait for the house, oh no, Greta has no issues telling others I can't sing, that I have big lumps and no doubt is off announcing the color of my underwear to her little friends - because oh yes - you won't get to dress by yourself for awhile either!
6) Get a share in Band aids - Greta, thankfully has never really hurt herself. No major falls, no big cuts, a few minor little bruises, but relatively lucky, but now that she is a 3 year old, she thinks a hang nail requires a band aid. She at one time was fearful of band aids, now I think she goes through a few a day. The good thing, band aids do cure absolutely everything, especially if they have Dora on them, so while worth the cost, running out of that special Dora band aid when a "real injury" happens (aka, she stubs her toe), a 3 year old diva attitude quickly turns the incident in to a life threatening event if the proper band aid is not available. Lesson - stock up!
7) Clothing - this I admit was a big judgement on my behalf...you know the kid who is wearing 5 different colors, or pjs for the 5th day in the row, out in public....toddlers think they have a sense of style and believe me, they know what they want. Now, I have stocked the closet with pieces that I like, so you would think this would be okay...however, we are now in the dress phase, and if it isn't a dress, skirt or tutu, it isn't worn. We still wear pants, but that means a tutu is part of the outfit. While I have yet to have her leave the house in pjs, or dirty clothes, she has a mind of her own and can be mighty strong when fighting me over an outfit. We do pick the outfits out the night before, but this plan doesn't always work! Patience isn't my strong point, but I now let her wear what she wants - out of the few choices I give her - a huge step for me, baby steps people, baby steps!
8) Crying - oh my lord, the child cries all the time, hitting on whining, but not quite, but definitely grates on the nerves and patience is really tested. I swear she didn't cry in the first 35 months collectively what she has in the last 4 months...she is so sensitive, I can barely handle it.
9) You will be the favorite one minute and then you are being told to "Get OUT"...of course, this usually happens in the bathroom, she wants me to be there, then Daddy, then Mommy, then Daddy....crying, screaming, get out, I don't want you, leave me, don't talk...oh, the joy, the joy! Yesterday, she was calling out for Daddy, when I arrived in the room, "I didn't call for you" was the greeting I received...thanks kid!
10) And all the above to say, even with the challenges, the fact that we as parents have been out once in 18 months, the exhaustion, I guess I have to admit, I can't imagine my life without a 3 year old. Okay, that is a lie, every once is a while, I think I would just like to go to supper or trivia, but then I remember, I need to be told I look like a zebra, I need to pick out a tutu for the next day, I need to color or play games, I need to put pretty braids in her long locks and I have to gain a little bit more of a fight in me to ensure my health struggles are put to the side so I can enjoy more frustration, aggravation and laughter, unconditional love and devotion from my little gal.....
Okay, that is the only sap you will get from me, hope you enjoyed the 3 year old public service announcement, and shame on all of you who didn't tell me about the true facts...and again, sorry to those who on top of this list also deal with temper tantrums, this post would have had a lot more swearing if I had to endure that, so I do feel for ya! I just assume she is holding out for a bit longer to work up the energy to make it a good one! And when it happens, I will certainly let you know.
Toodles!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Here is it, the long awaited blog about Colonoscopy's
It has taken me a long time, to both muster up the courage to write a blog about colonoscopy's, and to put my dignity aside for this important public service announcement, so bare with me - ha, no pun intended. If you are booked for your first colonoscopy, I apologize in advance, you may be scared shitless (pun intended), but if you are like many, who really don't display any symptoms or present with a reason to have a scope, but your age is creeping near 50, your time will come. There isn't one person reading this who won't someday be faced with this wonderful procedure (and by wonderful I do mean life saving - yet embarrassing, kill me know type of procedure).
For those who don't want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, better stop reading; and for my friends, or perhaps moreso the people who really don't know me, I am about to share WAY TOO MUCH information! But I figure if I can talk about newborn shit, talk about shit samples, surely I can get my words on this blog and tell you about clearing out shit and having a tube and a camera in spots no tube and camera should be...see, too much info, but hell, you could google, worse, you could YouTube it.
Here we go, I dare say I am an expert in the "Art of Scopes", September 19th marked my 6th scope of varying types all before the age of 40. When you visit the "scope clinic" and the secretary and all the nursing staff know you, it is a sign you are there way too much. If you can imagine, the secretary even recalled Mom, but said, "I didn't remember your Mom giving me a 1-800 # before to reach her at"...sigh, can we say frequent flyer. This visit, I even headed straight for the cabinet with the gowns and before she finished all the instructions, I was off to my "regular" changing room and seat. But I must back up (lord, there are going to be way too many jabs I can make during this post, please note I am not meaning to do that, just happens)...I need to discuss the PREP.
When you hear a patient who has experienced a scope, and they say the PREP is the worse part of the procedure, believe them. There is really no comparison, the preparation day(s) are much, much worse than the actual procedure, granted, you are usually so drugged you don't realize you are having the procedure, hence the reason it is a walk in the park.
Now there are different kinds of preps, some are better than others and it definitely depends on your Dr, if you here Go Lightly (while not spelled this way, it sounds like this)...you will NOT be going lightly, you will be parking your ass on the toilet for an entire day and wishing you had a baby around with diaper rash cream...there are drinks that taste like chalk, mixed with vomit, also NOT good, but my last two preps I had the "delightful" Pico-Salax, or for $4.00 cheaper the generic brand of Purg-Odan...at the end of the day, they are all the same thing, just different consistencies, rules, taste...they all do the same thing - clean the colon (aka, deflate your body of more liquid and shit than you thought possible). Now, why I can "handle" the Pico Salax, it is an orange flavoured drink, fizzy, and just mixed with a half glass of water, you have to drink 8 glasses of water with each sachet, most will have to take 2, but some 3. This of course goes in your body after you have starved for 12-24 hours. While the flavour is appreciated after no food, and beats the chalky / vomit tasting drink, you will want to steer clear of oranges for the foreseeable future, as it will bring back flashbacks. Now they call this the test prep, but this is no high school folks, there is no test, no quiz at the end of the day, this prep is preparing you for a long night of bathroom visits, instant grumbling in the belly and oh joy, the big exam!
So here are the details (I will spare you all of the details and try to maintain an ounce of dignity, but you can fill in the blanks)...I will say, if I was writing this after my first scope, I'm sure I would have a few more traumatic events to share, but now that I'm a pro scoper, I know what to expect, which drink I prefer and almost can relax (almost).
- After starving, you mix your first delicious drink, think Sex on the Beach (the drink people, the drink)...I prefer my prep drink on the rocks, tall glass with a fun umbrella, but to each their own. While it isn't a huge glass you have to drink, it isn't something you can chug either, but about 5 gulps and it is gone. USE ice though, warm orange fizzy drinks are not recommended.
- Then you wait. And Wait.... And Wait. Everyone is different, and each prep drink is different, some drinks work within minutes and you will want to set up camp either outside the bathroom door, or rest in the bathtub so you can jump to the toilet at a moments notice, but the Pico Salax strangely takes its time. Now, I wouldn't suggest working on prep day, as you really don't know, but it can take a few hours to really "kick in - and out". Now, having crohns (here comes the too much info), bathroom visits are a part of my life, but I can imagine someone who is not use to this fast action, would get quite the surprise. It does happen though, the gurgles start in your belly and you move ever so closer to the bathroom, then you do a mad dash, holy lord, I think I just lost 5 pounds! And this continues, 5 lbs, 10lbs, 15lbs...okay, perhaps not that extreme, but for those parents, do you remember when your baby power puked for the first time (spit up for those parents without an alien baby like we had)...and you panicked and called the nurse and said to the nurse, "my baby just threw up the entire bottle", and she said, "no, it was probably just 1/8th of the bottle"...well, it is probably like that, so lets say you lose a lb of shit each visit to the bathroom...it is a good weight loss plan, trying to squeeze in to that dress for an upcoming event, head to the drug store for a little Pico Salax - or buy Spanx, the other weight deceiving product! No need to explain each and every bathroom trip, but you will no doubt think you can't possibly have anything left in you, your 8 glasses of water surely are long gone and the food you ate when you were 10 is long gone, lord, even the gum you swallowed in class that the teachers said would stay in your system for 50 years has made its way out...you are clean...this goes on for approx 3-6 hours...and great news, the day of the procedure, you get to do it again.
Just remember
Gurgling = get ready
Bubbles = move closer to the bathroom
Gurgling / Bubbles / Pain = run, you are about to explode!
Now, if your house is like mine, you have not enjoyed going to the washroom alone since your child arrived, hell, in my house, I haven't been to the bathroom alone since the cat and dog arrived that would be 10 years, but this is one time you kick them all out - this is a scene, and noise that no other human needs to witness, be a part of, unless you really hate them and want them to have nightmares for the next 12 months. And when I mentioned diaper cream - I'm not too far off...you will greatly appreciated baby wipes....toilet paper just won't cut it, after your 20th visit to the bathroom you just want to wear a diaper soaked with Vaseline, this is also the time when you start to think, I can have clear liquids, Vodka is a clear liquid, I think I need an f'n Vodka!
So, you make it through the prep - it is like passing your Driver's License on the first try, you suffered through the test, the prep and now you are in the home stretch...you will be overjoyed, the worse is over with! Really, I promise. All you have to suck up now is complete embarrassment, sharing way too much information, realizing the Dr and Nurse will see more of you than any other human being every will or should...but you will get through it.
You head to the hospital, proud that you have lost 5 lbs and have a squeaky clean colon, bet you always wished for that accomplishment and the staff are all respectful and professional. These ladies and men talk shit for a living, ask some of the most personal questions out there and in the process make you realize that you are just another ass...I wonder if they go home at night and say, I had a real ass on the table today...just a thought! I know a lot of asses, I dare say when their ass gets on the table their true colors will shine through and the Dr will say this quote (hell, I think I will ask at my next appointment how many asses and "real asses" he has had on the table). Okay, so back to the hospital, you have to show up an hour before your procedure, get admitted for your procedure and get prepped for the procedure, this involves doing a lengthy questionnaire with the nurse, you know the normal questions, do you have any piercings, metal clips, dentures, oh, they do nurse things too - blood pressure, what do you know, mine has spiked, 80/75, IV started, bravo to the nurse this past visit, first try and no squirting blood - I'm usually not that lucky and lord knows I was dehydrated. She then brings you a warm blanket and you wait your turn...Again, at least in my experiences here in Charlottetown, they have all been lovely, my "usual" scope nurse arrives and says, "you are not here again", I explained that I just love visiting them so much and want to ensure they all had job security - sadly, I am probably really helping out their profession. You will be wheeled down to the procedure room, while not an operating room, it kind of is, but this one has camera's, oh yes, just to make sure you feel totally uncomfy, there is the big screen TV, and all the tubes and cameras to the side...yes folks, your colon will be flashed on the big screen for all to see, they even take a video, now, they haven't offered it up for sale, but perhaps I should ask! I mean, they sell dance recital video's, surely the colonoscopy video is just as exciting! The Dr comes in, in my case, Dr Clark, who starts off by saying, "do you have any questions, and don't ask me if you are going to die, you won't" - he has been my Dr for too long and knows me too well, I deep down know I'm his favorite patient, but I dare say I have asked the man 500 times if I will die and if so, when. He then asks me about my shopping trip (another sign I see him way too much). we start talking about New Hampshire shopping, I'm lying on my side (oh yes, that is what they will do, heart monitor, oxygen, IV and on your side you go), I faintly remember telling him I always feel better in NH and then I am out. Now, I get lots of drugs, having been awake for one scope and able to watch the entire procedure and seeing what my colon looks like proved to be a tad too much on my first visit, so now, the nurse asks the Dr how much sedation and he says LOTS! And I say, LOTS AND LOTS. That is my recommendation, drift off to dreamland, hell, Greta is up 6 nights out of 7 these days, this may have been my best hope at a deep sleep, I was taking it.
The next thing you know, you are in the recovery room, the blood pressure cuff tightening every 5 minutes and I faintly hear the nurses say her pressure is dropping, yet I hear another nurse say, it dropped a lot during the procedure, so 50 is coming up...not good, but I'm alive...made it through the prep, the procedure, and....wait, what is this, there is a rule...and a difficult rule for some, perhaps a fun one for others...but not I...this is worse than having a camera moving through my body ... during the procedure they pump you full of air, lots of it...and that air must come out. The rule is, you don't get to leave recovery until you expel that air...now, nothing like the farting orchestra that is playing in the scope recovery room, but yikes, that is horrendous, worse, you hear the nurses talking, "did he fart yet, did you hear if she expelled gas yet"...kill me now. Being the dignified gal I am, I always ask to go the bathroom, of course, I am so stoned, I can't walk nor see, but my stomach is going to explode, I need two nurses to carry me to the washroom and they don't want to leave you, so they stand outside the door, holding the damn door knob and continuously open the door to see if you have passed out, and they keep their ear to the door to ensure the air starts to disappear, guess they are worried your colon will explode! So, that is it...easy as riding a bike! You have officially earned another day off work, as you are so stoned you come home and sleep the rest of the day, eventually you want to try food, because you have now gone 48 hours plus with no solid food, the thought of oranges, soup broth or jello makes you want to vomit and like all great patients, you start to crave McD's...yes, it is true...
Oh yes, almost forgot, while they are doing the scope, they remove polyps if they see any (pre-cancerous lesions or growths), in my case, they also take biopsies to see what degree my crohns is in, and then you wait for a few weeks for your follow up. I have been fortune thus far to have cancer free scopes, just received my latest colon cancer free status yesterday at 5pm, but it is a worry, everyone isn't so lucky. While they say you don't have to have your first scope until 50, don't take a chance, if you have any concerns, worries, get in, early detection can save your life, sadly, I have lost some of the most amazing people to colon / bowel cancer, and medical advances have come a long way...put the embarrassment to the side, and get your ass on that table. It will be over before you know it and hey, you lose a few lbs, just do it!
This is my October 2013 public service announcement, signing off for now - Toodles!
For those who don't want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, better stop reading; and for my friends, or perhaps moreso the people who really don't know me, I am about to share WAY TOO MUCH information! But I figure if I can talk about newborn shit, talk about shit samples, surely I can get my words on this blog and tell you about clearing out shit and having a tube and a camera in spots no tube and camera should be...see, too much info, but hell, you could google, worse, you could YouTube it.
Here we go, I dare say I am an expert in the "Art of Scopes", September 19th marked my 6th scope of varying types all before the age of 40. When you visit the "scope clinic" and the secretary and all the nursing staff know you, it is a sign you are there way too much. If you can imagine, the secretary even recalled Mom, but said, "I didn't remember your Mom giving me a 1-800 # before to reach her at"...sigh, can we say frequent flyer. This visit, I even headed straight for the cabinet with the gowns and before she finished all the instructions, I was off to my "regular" changing room and seat. But I must back up (lord, there are going to be way too many jabs I can make during this post, please note I am not meaning to do that, just happens)...I need to discuss the PREP.
When you hear a patient who has experienced a scope, and they say the PREP is the worse part of the procedure, believe them. There is really no comparison, the preparation day(s) are much, much worse than the actual procedure, granted, you are usually so drugged you don't realize you are having the procedure, hence the reason it is a walk in the park.
Now there are different kinds of preps, some are better than others and it definitely depends on your Dr, if you here Go Lightly (while not spelled this way, it sounds like this)...you will NOT be going lightly, you will be parking your ass on the toilet for an entire day and wishing you had a baby around with diaper rash cream...there are drinks that taste like chalk, mixed with vomit, also NOT good, but my last two preps I had the "delightful" Pico-Salax, or for $4.00 cheaper the generic brand of Purg-Odan...at the end of the day, they are all the same thing, just different consistencies, rules, taste...they all do the same thing - clean the colon (aka, deflate your body of more liquid and shit than you thought possible). Now, why I can "handle" the Pico Salax, it is an orange flavoured drink, fizzy, and just mixed with a half glass of water, you have to drink 8 glasses of water with each sachet, most will have to take 2, but some 3. This of course goes in your body after you have starved for 12-24 hours. While the flavour is appreciated after no food, and beats the chalky / vomit tasting drink, you will want to steer clear of oranges for the foreseeable future, as it will bring back flashbacks. Now they call this the test prep, but this is no high school folks, there is no test, no quiz at the end of the day, this prep is preparing you for a long night of bathroom visits, instant grumbling in the belly and oh joy, the big exam!
So here are the details (I will spare you all of the details and try to maintain an ounce of dignity, but you can fill in the blanks)...I will say, if I was writing this after my first scope, I'm sure I would have a few more traumatic events to share, but now that I'm a pro scoper, I know what to expect, which drink I prefer and almost can relax (almost).
- After starving, you mix your first delicious drink, think Sex on the Beach (the drink people, the drink)...I prefer my prep drink on the rocks, tall glass with a fun umbrella, but to each their own. While it isn't a huge glass you have to drink, it isn't something you can chug either, but about 5 gulps and it is gone. USE ice though, warm orange fizzy drinks are not recommended.
- Then you wait. And Wait.... And Wait. Everyone is different, and each prep drink is different, some drinks work within minutes and you will want to set up camp either outside the bathroom door, or rest in the bathtub so you can jump to the toilet at a moments notice, but the Pico Salax strangely takes its time. Now, I wouldn't suggest working on prep day, as you really don't know, but it can take a few hours to really "kick in - and out". Now, having crohns (here comes the too much info), bathroom visits are a part of my life, but I can imagine someone who is not use to this fast action, would get quite the surprise. It does happen though, the gurgles start in your belly and you move ever so closer to the bathroom, then you do a mad dash, holy lord, I think I just lost 5 pounds! And this continues, 5 lbs, 10lbs, 15lbs...okay, perhaps not that extreme, but for those parents, do you remember when your baby power puked for the first time (spit up for those parents without an alien baby like we had)...and you panicked and called the nurse and said to the nurse, "my baby just threw up the entire bottle", and she said, "no, it was probably just 1/8th of the bottle"...well, it is probably like that, so lets say you lose a lb of shit each visit to the bathroom...it is a good weight loss plan, trying to squeeze in to that dress for an upcoming event, head to the drug store for a little Pico Salax - or buy Spanx, the other weight deceiving product! No need to explain each and every bathroom trip, but you will no doubt think you can't possibly have anything left in you, your 8 glasses of water surely are long gone and the food you ate when you were 10 is long gone, lord, even the gum you swallowed in class that the teachers said would stay in your system for 50 years has made its way out...you are clean...this goes on for approx 3-6 hours...and great news, the day of the procedure, you get to do it again.
Just remember
Gurgling = get ready
Bubbles = move closer to the bathroom
Gurgling / Bubbles / Pain = run, you are about to explode!
Now, if your house is like mine, you have not enjoyed going to the washroom alone since your child arrived, hell, in my house, I haven't been to the bathroom alone since the cat and dog arrived that would be 10 years, but this is one time you kick them all out - this is a scene, and noise that no other human needs to witness, be a part of, unless you really hate them and want them to have nightmares for the next 12 months. And when I mentioned diaper cream - I'm not too far off...you will greatly appreciated baby wipes....toilet paper just won't cut it, after your 20th visit to the bathroom you just want to wear a diaper soaked with Vaseline, this is also the time when you start to think, I can have clear liquids, Vodka is a clear liquid, I think I need an f'n Vodka!
So, you make it through the prep - it is like passing your Driver's License on the first try, you suffered through the test, the prep and now you are in the home stretch...you will be overjoyed, the worse is over with! Really, I promise. All you have to suck up now is complete embarrassment, sharing way too much information, realizing the Dr and Nurse will see more of you than any other human being every will or should...but you will get through it.
You head to the hospital, proud that you have lost 5 lbs and have a squeaky clean colon, bet you always wished for that accomplishment and the staff are all respectful and professional. These ladies and men talk shit for a living, ask some of the most personal questions out there and in the process make you realize that you are just another ass...I wonder if they go home at night and say, I had a real ass on the table today...just a thought! I know a lot of asses, I dare say when their ass gets on the table their true colors will shine through and the Dr will say this quote (hell, I think I will ask at my next appointment how many asses and "real asses" he has had on the table). Okay, so back to the hospital, you have to show up an hour before your procedure, get admitted for your procedure and get prepped for the procedure, this involves doing a lengthy questionnaire with the nurse, you know the normal questions, do you have any piercings, metal clips, dentures, oh, they do nurse things too - blood pressure, what do you know, mine has spiked, 80/75, IV started, bravo to the nurse this past visit, first try and no squirting blood - I'm usually not that lucky and lord knows I was dehydrated. She then brings you a warm blanket and you wait your turn...Again, at least in my experiences here in Charlottetown, they have all been lovely, my "usual" scope nurse arrives and says, "you are not here again", I explained that I just love visiting them so much and want to ensure they all had job security - sadly, I am probably really helping out their profession. You will be wheeled down to the procedure room, while not an operating room, it kind of is, but this one has camera's, oh yes, just to make sure you feel totally uncomfy, there is the big screen TV, and all the tubes and cameras to the side...yes folks, your colon will be flashed on the big screen for all to see, they even take a video, now, they haven't offered it up for sale, but perhaps I should ask! I mean, they sell dance recital video's, surely the colonoscopy video is just as exciting! The Dr comes in, in my case, Dr Clark, who starts off by saying, "do you have any questions, and don't ask me if you are going to die, you won't" - he has been my Dr for too long and knows me too well, I deep down know I'm his favorite patient, but I dare say I have asked the man 500 times if I will die and if so, when. He then asks me about my shopping trip (another sign I see him way too much). we start talking about New Hampshire shopping, I'm lying on my side (oh yes, that is what they will do, heart monitor, oxygen, IV and on your side you go), I faintly remember telling him I always feel better in NH and then I am out. Now, I get lots of drugs, having been awake for one scope and able to watch the entire procedure and seeing what my colon looks like proved to be a tad too much on my first visit, so now, the nurse asks the Dr how much sedation and he says LOTS! And I say, LOTS AND LOTS. That is my recommendation, drift off to dreamland, hell, Greta is up 6 nights out of 7 these days, this may have been my best hope at a deep sleep, I was taking it.
The next thing you know, you are in the recovery room, the blood pressure cuff tightening every 5 minutes and I faintly hear the nurses say her pressure is dropping, yet I hear another nurse say, it dropped a lot during the procedure, so 50 is coming up...not good, but I'm alive...made it through the prep, the procedure, and....wait, what is this, there is a rule...and a difficult rule for some, perhaps a fun one for others...but not I...this is worse than having a camera moving through my body ... during the procedure they pump you full of air, lots of it...and that air must come out. The rule is, you don't get to leave recovery until you expel that air...now, nothing like the farting orchestra that is playing in the scope recovery room, but yikes, that is horrendous, worse, you hear the nurses talking, "did he fart yet, did you hear if she expelled gas yet"...kill me now. Being the dignified gal I am, I always ask to go the bathroom, of course, I am so stoned, I can't walk nor see, but my stomach is going to explode, I need two nurses to carry me to the washroom and they don't want to leave you, so they stand outside the door, holding the damn door knob and continuously open the door to see if you have passed out, and they keep their ear to the door to ensure the air starts to disappear, guess they are worried your colon will explode! So, that is it...easy as riding a bike! You have officially earned another day off work, as you are so stoned you come home and sleep the rest of the day, eventually you want to try food, because you have now gone 48 hours plus with no solid food, the thought of oranges, soup broth or jello makes you want to vomit and like all great patients, you start to crave McD's...yes, it is true...
Oh yes, almost forgot, while they are doing the scope, they remove polyps if they see any (pre-cancerous lesions or growths), in my case, they also take biopsies to see what degree my crohns is in, and then you wait for a few weeks for your follow up. I have been fortune thus far to have cancer free scopes, just received my latest colon cancer free status yesterday at 5pm, but it is a worry, everyone isn't so lucky. While they say you don't have to have your first scope until 50, don't take a chance, if you have any concerns, worries, get in, early detection can save your life, sadly, I have lost some of the most amazing people to colon / bowel cancer, and medical advances have come a long way...put the embarrassment to the side, and get your ass on that table. It will be over before you know it and hey, you lose a few lbs, just do it!
This is my October 2013 public service announcement, signing off for now - Toodles!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
What to write, what to say, what to do....
I can no longer make excuses for not writing, it is not that I don't enjoy writing a blog post, but lately, laziness, lack of creativity, lack of energy all join forces and I have gone months again without writing a post. Certainly not for a lack of topics, while our life may not be overly exciting, I am sure I had enough things to poke fun at or discuss.
But where to start...ummm.
Greta
All for now, hope I will be back sooner than later, Toodles.
But where to start...ummm.
Greta
- Greta had an amazing time during our August holiday to Maine and New Hampshire, and I think Darren and I both can say it was a successful trip. While I usually go to shop til you drop, this trip was more about Greta, mixed with a little bit of shopping. She actually proved to be a very good shopping partner, no Lisa or Renilda mind you, but still, very impressive for three. Doesn't hurt that if she touched something I bought it for her, but that isn't the point, we all know she is spoiled beyond reason, she didn't have any meltdowns, no embarrassing moments, she didn't point out the "friends of Walmart" worthy patrons and make a comment like, "Mommy, why is that man wearing a bra and see through top at Walmart", phew, would hate to embarrass a customer like that....overall, she gets a gold star in my books.
- The highlight of the trip by far was Storyland, a mini Disney (well, very much MINI) but to a three year old, it may have been the real deal. I was equally impressed. It is a theme park with storybook characters, the main attraction, the pumpkin coach ride that took us up to Cinderella's castle, where Cinderella greeted us, she was almost leaping out of the Coach, I had the camera ready to snap a pic of her running up to her idol and wrapping her little arms around her legs and not letting go, that however wasn't quite the scene. It was more, "come on Greta, other boys and girls want to see Cinderalla, this is your chance"...this comment as she has her arms wrapped around my knees, so alas, we got the picture, with me hugging Cinderella with a terrified Greta in my arms. Thankfully, she still says this was the best part of her summer, so in her eyes, I take that to mean she hugged her! We did have to do the Coach a few times! Despite being shy, she really loved watching the other kids, danced in the aisles at the musical shows, loved the circus acts and is a ride junkie. Mommy, not so much, lets just say, there is no need for this Mommy to go on a Whale Ride that bounces up and down, while it was adorable to hear her giggle and grin ear to ear, when you almost upchuck post ride as the kids all run around saying lets do it again, you feel like a tool!
- We really tried to make the best out of the summer, I don't think there was one weekend that we sat still, there was always a great event on the Island, or a place to discover, we didn't make it to the beach much, but when we did go she loved it, my ass is still trying to recover from the Belfast Corn Maze ride in the barrels, ironically just yesterday when I picked Greta up from the sitter we were taking a back road to home that is an extremely bumpy dirt road and she said, "Mommy, this is just like that bumby barrel ride where your bum got hurt, my bum didn't get hurt"...no joke, that is because she was sitting on me! I took the brunt of the pain! Still a great adventure.
- We were swimming lots, soccer was a fairly successful sport, she at least spent more time on her feet than sitting in the grass picking flowers, however she certainly still had her moments. Greta's dislike for children does sadly continue, she very much likes her personal space and doesn't do well with little ones touching her, even when they are just being loving kids. We need to work on this, although the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I still remember the karate chop I perfected when people tried to touch my prego bump. So, I really can't blame her! Heck, I may even encourage it more.
- That brings us to the latest activity, while I always sit back in amazement at the kids who are in multiple activities, I just don't have the energy, nor do I feel Greta needs to have a busier social life than I at three years old, so we will be a one activity at a time family...that said, our latest adventure is Step Dance Class. Talk about cute. She won't leave the house without a tutu and is doing great listening to the teacher and with such a small class, only 4 (and as of tonight, I hear just 3), I think it will be something enjoyable for her. Of course, she refused to go this past Sunday because she was afraid of an overly loveable little gal that liked to enter in to her personal space bubble, but you win some and you lose some...Mommy would have made her go, Daddy was home with her and refused to take her when she freaked.
- And to finish up the ode to Greta, she is one smart little cookie (although she quickly corrects me when I call her that and says she is a Girl!). She is learning to count in French (my limited french speaking ability has been passed long, after this, she will have to watch TV), she is a whiz at the computer, iPad, iPhone, sadly, I have to admit, better than I on all the apps, she has learned to spell and type her name and has managed to type in Mickey and Dore in the YouTube Search box to find a video, quite impressive and scary at the same time, thankfully we had them marked as favorites, otherwise who knows what she would have found!
- We are boring and our money all goes to Greta! Enough said...ha!
- Hockey and football is returned, so while I see Darren's truck in the driveway, I rarely see or talk to him, I did check on him once in the basement to see if he was alive, he was, no rotten smell in the house of a rotting body, so all is good, I suspect I may see him a tad more in the spring!
- We are in the 40th year countdown, Darren has 22 days remaining until the big 40, I have less than 6 months, seriously, I remember when 40 seemed so old, now I'm thinking, what was all the fuss about...Of course, I may have a break down as it rolls around, so I'll hold out my full thoughts until it is actually here. But I must say, there is a reason why people should have kids earlier, as 40 year old bones, energy levels, patience levels are not quite that of a 20 something...
- I'm still sick, but I'm still here, hitting my 40th bday was my goal, sad but true. But I'm surviving somewhat, I'm exhausted, stressed, disguisted, disappointed in too many things to count, but I'm on this side of the ground, so I guess I should shut my mouth. That said, my invite only funeral list is getting smaller, can't say it enough, nothing like having a kid or being sick to make you realize who matters and who doesn't, and what matters and what doesn't. My tolerance level is much, much smaller than even a year ago and while I realize I have a rough road ahead, I am thankful for those who have been there with a friendly word, encouragement, positive vibes and sometimes just a hello. Ha, you made the list!!!!! Not going to do a sad sappy I'm dying blog tonight, but life really is short, and you just never do know what tomorrow will bring.
All for now, hope I will be back sooner than later, Toodles.
Friday, August 9, 2013
SHHH, no one wants to hear about this....."The Sample"
Do you know what topic has been discussed the most on my blog? I wish I could add a survey or multiple choice question to see who has been paying attention, but here are a few hints - it isn't shopping (I know hard to believe), it isn't how cute Greta is, it isn't even about my fear of motherhood and children...no friends... it is SHIT! Now, looking back and reading through old blog posts, I have to admit, my experiences with Code Browns were quite plentiful, and traumatic, but I assure you, what I am about to educate you on, and embarrassingly tell you about will make child birth look the most dignified experience of your life (my apologies for anyone who didn't feel a bit of your dignity was shed while giving birth, between that and having the nurses accompany you to the washroom and/or to the shower I have to say, I understand why mothers before me said, you have to leave your dignity at the hospital doors).
So, here we go, lets talk about shit.....Today we had to take Greta to the clinic, and thankfully had a very competent and kind Dr that I was extremely impressed with, he didn't push pills or a quick fix, he listened, very much took his time, was wonderful with Greta and while we don't really have any true answers, I very much appreciated the respect he showed to a hypochondriac freak like me. Poor little Greta has had a lot of "bathroom issues" going back for a good year now, she was quite fearful of going "number 2" and would hold it for days and days and days, not good as it would then lead to a dreadful experience for all of us. However the past week + since our visit to NB & the Zoo, she has gone the complete opposite...well, I'm not going to hold back, she has been in the bathroom more than her crohn's suffering mama (and that isn't good for a 25lb little girl who is afraid to go "number 2"), it has been hell. The poor little thing is so scared at times she is screaming, and diarrhea to a little one is very scary. While Daddy-O of course thought it was just a little bug or something she ate, I of course was worried...does she have crohns, colitis, oh my goodness, google searches tell me she has cancer. Needless to say, I was very, very worried, so finally called the Dr today, as we were up half the night in the bathroom with the poor little thing. Unfortunately our Dr was booked in the AM, so Darren headed to the place I hate almost as much as the ER - the Island medical walk in clinics. He left at 8am to register her and I met him with Greta at 9:15, the time they told us we would be seen...10:30, I am getting a tad impatient, but finally we get in, and as already mentioned, what a relief, a great Dr, with kids of his own. Like I said, he didn't prescribe anything, but because of the "history" he is referring her to a pediatrician and ordered STOOL SAMPLES! AHHHH, stool samples...Now, Greta doesn't know the difference so she won't be embarrassed that I am sharing such stories, but this is when I leave her for a moment and I bravely will offer up what is quite possibly the most embarrassing experience of my life to date (I said quite possibly, as I typed that line I thought of a few other doosies that I just can't quite share), but since I already talked about Squishville (aka, the mammogram) what is a little shit education between friends (oh, and the general public who read my blog - because thanks to some stranger, my blog posts make it to an Island website under bloggers to watch...ha).
So, deep breath, here is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
I am pretty confident people don't really anticipate hearing those words, we need a stool sample...I sadly have heard it one to many times. Having the shit disease (oh, I mean crohns) is traumatic enough, but to then be told you have to give a "sample", well lets just say it may quite possibly be the most dreaded experience of my life. The most traumatic however came around this time last year, I was on a downward spiral, I was starting to lose weight, I was fighting having to return to prednisone to control my crohns and I had to break down and admit to the specialist that I couldn't live the way I was anymore, I was spending half of my day in a bathroom, I couldn't drink a sip of water without landing in the bathroom, and lets just say, it wasn't pleasant...well, who would have thought I would rather have that pleasant experience back compared to what they "made me do". My sweet Dr, who is very much ready to retire and has had a life / career full of shit, said very non-chalantly and matter of fact that Karen at the front desk would do up the paper work and set me up for my stool samples. I was mortified, not only did he state this close to the front desk in front of a packed waiting room, but what, paper work, samples (with an S)....I walked out of the office door and made my way to the desk, where she said it would take a few minutes to write out the instructions and get the labels (again, plural) ready so I could have a seat...lord, kill me now! I felt as if each person in that room were starring at me, thinking, I know what she is doing tonight, I sat quietly with my head down, unable to make eye contact. Karen is then ready for me, she calls me by my first name and with her regular voice (not a whisper like I was doing) explains sample #1, as she hands me the jar. Lets just say they give you a tiny sample jar, it looks like a small pill bottle and what is that in it, a spoon attached to the lid, please, let me die. I couldn't hold back my horror, how is the hell do you shit in to a pill bottle, and what is the scoop for...oh my lord, it is hitting me, I have to scoop shit, with that tiny little spoon in to the jar, in my house...I want to cry. Then comes jar two, same size, but this one has some pink solution in it, same little spoon, Karen explains the amount that has to make it's way in to this jar and demonstrates how I have to shake it, and "mix it really well with the solution"...seriously, a packed room and I KNOW THEY ARE ALL LISTENING! Okay I say, please let this hell be over, but no, oh no, what is coming my way...are you kidding me...it's a bucket. Perhaps they give out ice cream to make you go the bathroom...oh no, seriously, you have a bucket with a hazardous waste symbol on it and you are handing it to me...kill me now, just remove my bowel, I can't handle any more!
But alas, I now sit, at the counter (a very, very small counter I may add, with other patients within reach of me, and I have two pill bottle sample jars and now an damn bucket in front of me. I honestly was not prepared for the instructions that came next. "You have to collect all feces in this bucket for the next 24 hours"....I almost pass out, I am weak at the knees and I am not sure if it was just complete discomfort or myself trying to make a little bit of fun out of this hell, I said, "Karen, you know, I am in the midst of a crohns flare up, I am in the bathroom every 10 minutes, you better given me 10 buckets"...she laughed and said this would be fine. I should add, this is no little pint size ice cream container, this is a bucket that is to hold a crohn's patients shit for 24 hours!
Pause for a fact -
Why do Doctors and Nurses and Medical Receptionists say feces? Is there a class at medical school called ‘You can’t say shit or pooh to a Patient’?
Back to my horror - I want to go home, I want to run, but how, I have a purse with me and there is no friggin way I am walking though a building or down an elevator or stair case with a bucket meant for shit under my arm...Perhaps the 2nd story window is a good option, maybe show me the roof and I will just leap to the truck from there. I stayed at the desk, I wouldn't move, somewhat trying to hide my new found "friends" for the next 24 hours, I whispered, do you have a brown bag? She said, she probably has a plastic bag, I hesitantly said that will do. She packs up my goods and hands me the paper work, gives me instructions on the importance of ensuring the time and dates are recorded and then informs me I have to return it to the specimen collection at the hospital. I then whispered, how do you collect this (thinking, surely you don't sit on an ice cream bucket), she said, oh, you will need to pick up a hat at the pharmacy. A hat, what in the hell, what are we talking about, a cowboy hat, baseball hat, she sees my puzzled scared face and says it's a collection hat just to ask for it (more to come on that in a moment)...Now, if you didn't think this was traumatic enough, and you are all thanking your lucky stars you have a fine working colon and no issues with crohns or colitis, it does get worse...oh my, SO MUCH WORSE.
What feels like a lifetime at this counter, my last instruction is still the most shocking, horrifying, kill my dignity please experience - EVER. I am told the bucket of shit and jars have to be kept in the fridge. Now, I'm not sure about you, but I have one fridge in my house, didn't realize I would need a Feces Fridge and didn't spring for two. I said "absolutely not"...she said it must, or I would have to re-do the tests, it had to be refrigerated. Okay, I have brought a fair amount of interesting things home and can explain a fair amount, but I'm pretty sure having a bucket of shit next to the milk will be an issue in my house. Perhaps this is the norm in other homes, but NO WAY!
So, I leave...happily, but with my head down, no eye contact to anyone in the waiting room and rush to the car, I have tears in my eyes by the time I get in the front seat. I just need to breath before the next task - I need to go find a HAT. Well, I searched and searched, I am ready for the mental ward, I am NOT ASKING WHERE I CAN FIND A HAT FOR SHIT....but alas, I have to. Of course, the staff are wonderful, again, like I am just buying a pack of gum, I walk out with my $3 plastic hat....but wait, I need a new fridge!
Now, while I thought of going to buy a fridge for one time use, I headed to the store for a Styrofoam cooler and bags of ice, no doubt the young guy at the store thought I was off to a fun party - oh boy, was he wrong!
I get home and have to call Darren - I mean, I don't want him seeing a cooler on the deck and think I stocked it with beer! Can you imagine that shock. Let me tell you, there are things you really shouldn't have to talk to your spouse about, top of my list, my need to fill a bucket up with shit! And then it hits me, I am suppose to be at work, but obviously I am not taking my bucket to work, so I have to call in to my adored boss who was so concerned about me and my health, to inform him that, "I am really sorry, but I have to undergo some testing for the next 24 hours and I won't be in until noon the following day". As always, he said no problem, hope you feel better! Lordy I miss him! Anyway, so, out of work for the day (what a waste of a sick day), and well, lets just say, I did what I was told...as traumatic as it was, I got through it...
BUT, there is more! Can you believe I am sharing this - because lord knows I can't...but if it helps just one person, then I have succeeded...and I can tell you now (a year later), I can laugh about it! Therapy helped too!
Now, if the above was not shameful enough, this shit has to be delivered ... to a hospital, on a small island, where history has proven you run in to at least one, if not two people every time you go to the hospital. I package up my "samples", I wrap them in plastic, I check the paper work, as I was warned if it was not recorded properly and the labels and the paper work don't match, it won't be accepted ( you would think my life depended on this quality assurance, but I sure as hell wasn't doing this again). So, off I go, my bucket o'shit wrapped pretty much in a birthday present style wrap to conceal what was truly in the bag, I park the car and I make that long, long walk to the front door of the hospital, and it hits me, oh my God, I have a friend, who works in the lab, will she have to test my shit. I am overwhelmed, I want to die, but I can't, because then I will be found with a bag full of crap and my name is on it, I can't die and be talked about the way Islanders do, "did you hear there was this girl, she was delivering shit and passed out and now the hospital is calling her the Shitter". RIP! I turn the corner, thank god the specimen collection is now on the first floor, immediately to your right as you walk in the doors...I look at the room, it is packed, this is also where they take blood, all these kind souls waiting for blood tests and I have a bag, I come up to the desk and whisper, I have to drop off a sample, and then it happens....while not yelling, it was loud enough and stern enough to have everyone in the room pay attention, "Hold up, I have one more sample for you to take to the lab"....completely mortified I raise up my bag, a very large shopping bag and the technician hands it over to the person leaving with all the other samples...and there it goes, my crap, in a bucket, along with two little jars leaves my sight.....While I am starving and desperately want to grab a drink and a cinnamon roll, I leave, I think faster than I have ever walked before. I am so traumatized I call in and take the rest of the day, that was too much. But it is over and as my mother said, as awful as it was for me, someone has the job to test it....
So, please hug a lab tech today, please don't feel guilty about laughing as I can now share my horror in hopes it will help just one person understand the hell you will go through, but I can write and say you will survive and well...just a little insight in to my day with Greta tomorrow....thankfully no bucket, but we have the "hat" on the toilet and one jar is filled, one more to go. I will have my plastic gloves on, bathroom covered in plastic, gagging all the way, but we will see what, if anything,is wrong with our little gal.
I bet this will make you think twice before saying you had a shitty day - at least I can truly say i have (and survived).
Toodles!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Big Lumps and Chicken Nuggets
Hello Followers, forgive me for I have sinned....It has been 8 months since my last post because I am too lazy, have had a lot of shit to deal with and well, Facebook allows me to write tidbits each day and I haven't found the time nor energy to put something creative on paper! There is my apology, but I really do hope to return to my beloved blog.
This past week at work a few of us were chatting about a few of my earlier blogs - you know, the ones when I was entering the scary world of parenthood and Code Brown and Poop were the topics of the day, followed by my obsession with Spanx and new adventures. We found ourselves laughing to the point of tears coming down our cheeks as we recounted some of my experiences and when we tried to read them, well, it just lead to more laughter - a lovely break from the work day and a few funny memories for sure. I highly recommend all my new mom friends (or those expecting) to take a peak, I certainly didn't hold anything back!
Greta is now a month in to her 3rd year and what a ride we are on. I certainly can say she was an excellent 2 year old, I waited each day for the "terrible two's to hit", but they really didn't. No embarrassing breakdowns at a public event or grocery store, no dreadful behavior issues at home or the sitter, she really was quite remarkable..but then 3 hit...and she has shown us that she was just storing up her little attitude and defiance. While I am told quite often what I am experiencing is nothing, it has been quite the surprise for me. She has a few little quirks, but an opinion comes along with these quirks. She is in a dress phase, all outfits worn are dresses or long enough shirts that I can pull off as dresses, she is very particular on her hair style - pony tail, braid, pretty bow, etc, she has a few favorite shoes and all the others are pushed to the side, while I am loving the dress phase and my girly-girl, it is getting pricey trying to keep up (only because I have a shopping habit and want to ensure she doesn't have to repeat an outfit in the same 2 week cycle)... of course, the fact that she wants to wear a dress every day is not an issue, the fact that she refuses to wear particular ones when we are already running late to get to work is. Despite picking out outfits the night before, she has had a few mornings where nothing would do, 5 outfits later, I was exhausted and she was in tears! Then comes the mornings when she wants pancakes, then stares at them, refuses to eat and then says she wants a bagel or toast.
She is quite comical and her quote jar is filling up with lots of comments she makes each day. One that inspired todays Blog Title is the issue of "Big Lumps". Greta has become obsessed with boobs! While I am not particularly "small" in the chest area, I am a far way from Dolly Parton and my little gal is wishfully hoping for "big lumps like Mommy". While it is somewhat funny to hear this at home, imagine my horror when it happened in public.
While at the Superstore (grocery store for those away), we were walking down the baking food aisle to get a few ingredients I needed to make jam. She leaned out to hug me in this crowded aisle and instead of wrapping her arms around my waist, she grabbed my chest. I looked both ways in horror thinking of my lord, who in this busy aisle just saw my almost 3 year old grab my chest, I gently (with a tad bit of force) put her arms together as I told her not to do that, I did say Please, but she was not fond of my stern voice. She then said (to the delight of many around us), "Mommy, I have small lumps, I wish I had big lumps like you". Let me die, right here by the sugar! I am sure I turned beat red, my reaction started to upset her, but as I looked around, there was no denying that everyone in the aisle just heard my child wish for "big lumps like Mommy". The sweet lady beside me looked sympathetic and tried her best to hold in laughter, but did not succeed, I think she actually spit when she started to laugh, however it was the middle aged man next to me who was having the most uncomfortable experience, I swear he was trying to look at my eyes, but it didn't work, he was definitely checking out my chest! Alas, I quickly left the aisle and sadly, forgot the only ingredient I really needed - the damn sugar for my jam. SIGH. Of course, when I ask where she heard such a thing as big lumps, she blames her father, he denies it!
So, I cannot deny, the child is full of comic relief. She has been having a tough time with my illness and the amount of Dr appts and hospital visits I have, it is hard to shelter a little one when much of my life revolves around the medical community. She made the trek to Halifax with us and my Mother when I went to meet with the liver transplant team in Halifax. We try to make the best of the time and try our best to make any appts she is aware of more fun, but there are times that Mommy is just not feeling well and can't always be around. Sadly, I think our poor little girl started to worry alot, worried I would be going away and not coming back, or worried that I was too sick and wouldn't get better, I have been extremely cautious lately to not talk about medicines or Drs, etc. This said, she did attend my specialist appt with me today and my Dr was so sweet to her, they are always asking about her so I was happy I could take her with me, she knew he was trying to get Mommy better and he actually focussed on her the entire visit, she thought it was a great place, which I am happy about.
Now of course, the above is just one thing I may not have approached in the best manner, this parenting thing really doesn't come with an instruction book, and it is rather exhausting at times. I have done many, many things I really didn't think I would, not because I thought I could be Super Mom and follow some perfect parent rule book, but I thought at least I would be somewhere in the middle of the pack of Mom's, you know, feed them, keep them alive, make sure they look presentable in public...but alas being a Super Mom is tough (hell, who am I kidding, I really never tried to be a Super Mom, I think they are freaks - if you are a Super Mom, take a break, your kid and my kid will be in the same school, learn from the same teachers and who knows mine may go to the head of the class and not revolt when they are older, yours may!!!)
Anyway, here are my confessions of the failed Super Mom persona:
This past week at work a few of us were chatting about a few of my earlier blogs - you know, the ones when I was entering the scary world of parenthood and Code Brown and Poop were the topics of the day, followed by my obsession with Spanx and new adventures. We found ourselves laughing to the point of tears coming down our cheeks as we recounted some of my experiences and when we tried to read them, well, it just lead to more laughter - a lovely break from the work day and a few funny memories for sure. I highly recommend all my new mom friends (or those expecting) to take a peak, I certainly didn't hold anything back!
Greta is now a month in to her 3rd year and what a ride we are on. I certainly can say she was an excellent 2 year old, I waited each day for the "terrible two's to hit", but they really didn't. No embarrassing breakdowns at a public event or grocery store, no dreadful behavior issues at home or the sitter, she really was quite remarkable..but then 3 hit...and she has shown us that she was just storing up her little attitude and defiance. While I am told quite often what I am experiencing is nothing, it has been quite the surprise for me. She has a few little quirks, but an opinion comes along with these quirks. She is in a dress phase, all outfits worn are dresses or long enough shirts that I can pull off as dresses, she is very particular on her hair style - pony tail, braid, pretty bow, etc, she has a few favorite shoes and all the others are pushed to the side, while I am loving the dress phase and my girly-girl, it is getting pricey trying to keep up (only because I have a shopping habit and want to ensure she doesn't have to repeat an outfit in the same 2 week cycle)... of course, the fact that she wants to wear a dress every day is not an issue, the fact that she refuses to wear particular ones when we are already running late to get to work is. Despite picking out outfits the night before, she has had a few mornings where nothing would do, 5 outfits later, I was exhausted and she was in tears! Then comes the mornings when she wants pancakes, then stares at them, refuses to eat and then says she wants a bagel or toast.
She is quite comical and her quote jar is filling up with lots of comments she makes each day. One that inspired todays Blog Title is the issue of "Big Lumps". Greta has become obsessed with boobs! While I am not particularly "small" in the chest area, I am a far way from Dolly Parton and my little gal is wishfully hoping for "big lumps like Mommy". While it is somewhat funny to hear this at home, imagine my horror when it happened in public.
While at the Superstore (grocery store for those away), we were walking down the baking food aisle to get a few ingredients I needed to make jam. She leaned out to hug me in this crowded aisle and instead of wrapping her arms around my waist, she grabbed my chest. I looked both ways in horror thinking of my lord, who in this busy aisle just saw my almost 3 year old grab my chest, I gently (with a tad bit of force) put her arms together as I told her not to do that, I did say Please, but she was not fond of my stern voice. She then said (to the delight of many around us), "Mommy, I have small lumps, I wish I had big lumps like you". Let me die, right here by the sugar! I am sure I turned beat red, my reaction started to upset her, but as I looked around, there was no denying that everyone in the aisle just heard my child wish for "big lumps like Mommy". The sweet lady beside me looked sympathetic and tried her best to hold in laughter, but did not succeed, I think she actually spit when she started to laugh, however it was the middle aged man next to me who was having the most uncomfortable experience, I swear he was trying to look at my eyes, but it didn't work, he was definitely checking out my chest! Alas, I quickly left the aisle and sadly, forgot the only ingredient I really needed - the damn sugar for my jam. SIGH. Of course, when I ask where she heard such a thing as big lumps, she blames her father, he denies it!
So, I cannot deny, the child is full of comic relief. She has been having a tough time with my illness and the amount of Dr appts and hospital visits I have, it is hard to shelter a little one when much of my life revolves around the medical community. She made the trek to Halifax with us and my Mother when I went to meet with the liver transplant team in Halifax. We try to make the best of the time and try our best to make any appts she is aware of more fun, but there are times that Mommy is just not feeling well and can't always be around. Sadly, I think our poor little girl started to worry alot, worried I would be going away and not coming back, or worried that I was too sick and wouldn't get better, I have been extremely cautious lately to not talk about medicines or Drs, etc. This said, she did attend my specialist appt with me today and my Dr was so sweet to her, they are always asking about her so I was happy I could take her with me, she knew he was trying to get Mommy better and he actually focussed on her the entire visit, she thought it was a great place, which I am happy about.
Now of course, the above is just one thing I may not have approached in the best manner, this parenting thing really doesn't come with an instruction book, and it is rather exhausting at times. I have done many, many things I really didn't think I would, not because I thought I could be Super Mom and follow some perfect parent rule book, but I thought at least I would be somewhere in the middle of the pack of Mom's, you know, feed them, keep them alive, make sure they look presentable in public...but alas being a Super Mom is tough (hell, who am I kidding, I really never tried to be a Super Mom, I think they are freaks - if you are a Super Mom, take a break, your kid and my kid will be in the same school, learn from the same teachers and who knows mine may go to the head of the class and not revolt when they are older, yours may!!!)
Anyway, here are my confessions of the failed Super Mom persona:
- I am no Super Mom
- The TV is on all the time - while she does stop here and there to watch it, she isn't in front of it all the time, but she could be
- My 3 year old plays on the iPad every night before bed, sometimes a virtual book, other times a game and many nights about 15 minutes of a Disney movie before she falls asleep
- She drinks juice - almost every day
- While she is a great eater and loves broccoli and eats a fruit plate each day, she equally loves Chicken Nugget Happy Meals, Cheese Whiz Sandwiches, Bologna, cheese and crackers, KD and a lot of other crappy food that we give in to
- She is spoiled - completely, utterly, spoiled...and sadly, it is not because she has ever asked for a thing - rather, I am the culprit and love to buy things I think she will like - I have a problem. If I think she is sad, I go to the closet where I store gifts and give her one...it is a problem!
- I don't care that she is spoiled because she is thoughtful and thankful and polite and sweet, and I may not be around to see her grow up so I am going to spoil her all I want !
- The child has more clothes than I do - and that is saying a lot.
- I have to admit that I have informed her that Santa has been on vacation on PEI and is watching - it has helped on a few occasions!
- I love Elf on the Shelf and I may become one of those freaks who do all the crazy things! I think it is a great concept - time consuming for sure, but I think I will get great enjoyment out of him this year
- I do think she is one of the cutest kids out there !
- Having a kid of my own didn't make me love other kids, some are cute, but within reason, Reason being cute with there own mama's, I'm not ready for drop your kids off for a day/night...granted, if someone wants mine, wow, I would love it, but I can't do the same! Total one sided favour!
- I am ending this blog to ruin my brain cells to watch the Finale of the Bachelorette! Not even going to spell check as it is coming on in one minute and I need to get a drink and some ketchup chips!
- Toodles! Hope I will be back soon!
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