Public Service Announcement - You think you have it all figured out until you have a 3 year old!

Terrible two's - pffft, walk in the park.  Three's, oh yes, three is where it is at...Lets get ready to rumble!  I bring to you the facts that no one bothered to tell me (until I'm experiencing it - I am a planner - the warnings would have been appreciated) - that the terrible two's are nothing, it is the 3s where the real magic happens (of course I can only comment on the 3's (now that we are almost 4 months in, but I have been kindly warned, until they are about 20 they will still give you grief).  I have become convinced the only reason the 3s didn't get an official "title" like the infamous Terrible Two's did is that the person who coined the term ensured the kids didn't make it to 3, if they had, it would have been the torturous mind numbing 3s, the f'n 4's, etc...you get it...it actually can get worse before it gets better!

Now, I have to fully admit, I judged...oh yes I did, I would see "those" parents with their kids (aka, psycho's, orangutans, screaming monsters, bossy brats, fill in the blank _______) and think, if in some la-la land if I ever became a mother, which was virtually impossible, my imaginary kids would NEVER ACT LIKE THAT, or DO THAT,  or SAY THAT.  Who am I kidding? I still do that, while I am reminded quite often, and both from watching / judging and by experiencing, I do know we have it good, Greta has had one mild temper tantrum,  knows how to be respectful, is kind hearted and shy (while this does have some negatives, the positives are she is too shy to act out in front of people and hates people "watching her" - so this is perhaps why we haven't had any questionable moments in a store, restaurant, etc)....but, she is now 3 and with this lovely age comes a lot of actions that are less than desirable...And since no one told me, I will assume those reading also were not informed.  So I write this to help you prepare, stock the liquor cabinet, plan your escape route, get good meds, buy more liquor, and get a buddy system, as some of this stuff just doesn't get talked about and you really need to pass this crap by someone - while you may not want to compare yourself to another mother, you will appreciate hearing this shit happens to other people.  Oh, and if you are long past this stage, perhaps you are sitting back, with your glass of wine and can laugh and say, you amateur!

Not that anyone asks for my advice, I mean seriously, I'm sure I broke every "Perfect Mom Rule" in the book - I used bumper pads, I formula fed, I heated bottles in the microwave, I didn't put the handle of the car seat down, I allowed the animals to sleep next to her and she no doubt swallowed enough cat hair to cough up hair balls, I didn't make my own baby food, I didn't baby proof my house, lord, shall I continue!  I did move my liquor cabinet for the record - granted, that was just a few months ago, but as most know, I have one healthy little gal, smart as anything, is gentle with animals and other people but she is now 3 and her life expectancy some days is questionable!  (Okay, that part is a joke, my life expectancy is short, hence the reason I can laugh sometimes and think, I may only have a few more years of this crying, diva like attitude, etc).  But, if I was asked for advice, I promise, I wouldn't be saying "your life will change forever, you will get sleep in a few months...oh no, I'm going to damn well tell the truth, so here it goes (again, I feel for those that have it worse, and I know some of you are no doubt struggling to put your three year old to bed at 10pm, that some probably cleaned up after their 3 year old threw their food across the room or just hit their baby sister), but 4 months in, this is what no one else wants to share:

1)  They should have a show called Toddler Hoarders - yes folks, kids like to hoard things.  I was that mother who said, "my house will not look like a day care centre"...now, thankfully due to the set up of our home, it doesn't, although start to go through that closed door and wow, it's flippin Toys R Us...And I am the main culprit.  The child has enough toys to ensure it feels like Christmas each day, open a new box and wow, there it is, something new!  I actually think the toys are like rabbits, they just keep multiplying...and be warned, you have enemies - oh yes, there will be those that give you those annoying toys - you know, the ones that require BATTERIES - holy hell, unless you absolutely hate someone, don't give toys with batteries, because toys with batteries make noise, annoying noise...now there are some acceptable toys with batteries, those are the ones with a secret on/off button, but only those are acceptable.  Then your relatives will conspire to increase the toy volume in the house, just because the item was so irresistible.  I think I am going to adopt a new rule, for every gift Greta receives, the person giving it has to take one toy to their house (I vote for the ones with batteries that wiggled their way in the door)...this may stop some of the insanity.  And the biggest secret to three year olds toy collections - they like the Dollar Store toys just as much - if not better.  I always love when Greta bypasses the Strawberry Shortcake Collection that I think is worth approximately $400 at last count for the squishy, dirty, cat hair filled ball like Caterpillar.  Just when I think I can throw the filthy thing out, she finds it again!  Oh yes, and the more toys, the more bins / baskets / organizing "pieces" you obtain.  I will say, in our case, I do like them as Greta keeps a mighty tidy play room, but they are overtaking the playroom!  Now, don't think (like I did) that all the toys would stay in the "designated bin", there will be that day when the child will say, I want that princess ball and low and behold that sucker is not in the ball bin...AHHH.  For those with OCD, save yourself now, chop up the credit cards and never, every visit Walmart or Toys R Us with a child, you won't be able to handle the toy population!

2)  Food for Tots - nothing shocks me more than to see Greta finish 90% of her meal and totally out of the blue push the plate away and announce, "I don't like that"...well, you liked the first 10 bites, as you have for the past 2 years and now all of a sudden you don't like that!  Seriously.   And the foods that you swore you would never feed the kids, oh yes, you will buy them, first out of ease and then second because gasp, they are the favorite foods...Greta asks for a hot dog at least 4 nights out of the week...I shall spare you my teaching experience where the class made hot dogs, I am still traumatized by the experience, so I get a little gag reflex each time she asks for one.  Not that we give in, but sometimes we do, it's not worth the fight.  And it is amazing, we quite often hear, "I don't like that"...of course, she hasn't tried it but then when she wants to have chocolate for dinner and you find yourself negotiating that if she tries a bite, she can have a piece of chocolate, you know you have succeeded in parenthood! SIGH!  And is it just my house, or do all kids do this, she is full from her meal and I sit down to eat (most nights about an hour later) and low and behold, she pushed away her food, but now wants to dine off my plate, or drink my juice....SERIOUSLY!  I remember my aunt saying, "I just wanted to eat a hot egg"....I get hot food on the plate, but then it is usually shared however with the dog, Greta and what remains is cool!  No wonder I have been losing weight.

3)  You think you have it easy because your 4 month old is sleeping through the night - you sucker!  They will awake at night again, that is a ploy, just gets you comfy to think you have this great kid who slept through the night early, but let me guess, they have no teeth yet - oh yes, they will get up...but what is more annoying, just as you get comfy and think you have a sleeping toddler angel on your hands - BAM...they start to wake up again.  Now with screams, "Mommy, I have to pee"...so you have to pee at 3 am, awesome, great job that you have bladder control and want to go to the bathroom instead of having an accident in bed, but do you seriously have to stay up for the day, or request to play or watch cartoons....or perhaps, you feel a sense of accomplishment when the pee break is just 15 minutes and they are back to dream land, but don't get too comfy, cause they will be awake again at 5 am...."Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared, come get me"...I swear, I had more sleep when Greta was 10 days old than I do now.  No lie...so, enjoy your sleep while you can, it can get worse, much, much worse!

4)  A 3 year old is needy - do you know how needy this age is - 100 times worse than a newborn, of course you have to cuddle, rock, change, bath, feed a baby, but at 3, they now tell you EXACTLY  what their needs are, believe me, so much more enjoyable when you had to figure it out through cries.  Now, it is, I want to play with this one particular toy, not any toy, the toy that is impossible to find because it is an inch high and the same damn color as 100 other toys in the bin.  Let me give you an example, "Mommy, I can't find Dora, can you help me find Dora?"  "Sure sweetie, oh, here she is"..."no, not that Dora, the other Dora", the search continues.. "here you go, I found Dora"...the attitude starts, "I said the one with the purple shirt, the blue shorts and the flower on her"...oh yes, that f'n Dora, the one we lost 6 f'n months ago, never to be seen again, but today, that is the only Dora that will do.  Now, in most cases, I would run to the store and buy 10 friggin Dora's, but oh no, this one is 12 years old, a hand me down from my niece..there is only one!  That is the needy I'm talking about.  I could have devoted the entire blog to neediness... I want the strawberry shampoo, not the smurf shampoo, I want the pink shirt not the white shirt (that for the record was picked out with her approval the night before), and lately, I want to wear my dress coat everywhere....go for it darling...it is cute, who needs a formal coat to be in good shape, go play...really, this I don't mind, she looks cute and it can be washed!  And be warned, the need factor usually rises significantly the moment you sit down, get on the phone, go to the shower, etc...they never need anything while you are with them, they seem to pounce like a cat.  This is also the time I should say, you don't get to shower or have a relaxing bath alone for at least 3 years and I fear it may be longer, but I can't talk from experience for the longer just assuming as I don't yet feel there is an end in site....I long for the day that I can just relax in a hot tub, without a toddler sitting on the stool, asking to smell the soap, or wanting to draw something on the tub wall, or for me to play with rubber duckies, or the best pointing out that I have "big lumps"...

5) Three year olds do not lie - while this is an admirable trait, you have to realize does not lie also means, no filter...I have been told this past week that my legs were itchy (aka, hairy), my shirt looked like a Zebra, that I can't sing and that I was speeding and that was just in 24 hours....to maintain some amount of self dignity, I won't share other comments my sweet, adorable, way too honest daughter had to say.  Now, this is not necessarily a bad trait, you want to know what is going on, send the private investigator 3 year old on the case, but be prepared for the entire truth, it may not be pretty!  Of course, they don't just leave this honesty is the best medicine trait for the house, oh no, Greta has no issues telling others I can't sing, that I have big lumps and no doubt is off announcing the color of my underwear to her little friends - because oh yes - you won't get to dress by yourself for awhile either!

6)  Get a share in Band aids - Greta, thankfully has never really hurt herself.  No major falls, no big cuts, a few minor little bruises, but relatively lucky, but now that she is a 3 year old, she thinks a hang nail requires a band aid.  She at one time was fearful of band aids, now I think she goes through a few a day.  The good thing, band aids do cure absolutely everything, especially if they have Dora on them, so while worth the cost, running out of that special Dora band aid when a "real injury" happens (aka, she stubs her toe), a 3 year old diva attitude quickly turns the incident in to a life threatening event if the proper band aid is not available.  Lesson - stock up!

7)  Clothing - this I admit was a big judgement on my behalf...you know the kid who is wearing 5 different colors, or pjs for the 5th day in the row, out in public....toddlers think they have a sense of style and believe me, they know what they want.  Now, I have stocked the closet with pieces that I like, so you would think this would be okay...however, we are now in the dress phase, and if it isn't a dress, skirt or tutu, it isn't worn.  We still wear pants, but that means a tutu is part of the outfit.  While I have yet to have her leave the house in pjs, or dirty clothes, she has a mind of her own and can be mighty strong when fighting me over an outfit.  We do pick the outfits out the night before, but this plan doesn't always work!  Patience isn't my strong point, but I now let her wear what she wants - out of the few choices I give her - a huge step for me, baby steps people, baby steps!

8)  Crying - oh my lord, the child cries all the time, hitting on whining, but not quite, but definitely grates on the nerves and patience is really tested.  I swear she didn't cry in the first 35 months collectively what she has in the last 4 months...she is so sensitive, I can barely handle it.

9)  You will be the favorite one minute and then you are being told to "Get OUT"...of course, this usually happens in the bathroom, she wants me to be there, then Daddy, then Mommy, then Daddy....crying, screaming, get out, I don't want you, leave me, don't talk...oh, the joy, the joy!  Yesterday, she was calling out for Daddy, when I arrived in the room, "I didn't call for you" was the greeting I received...thanks kid!

10) And all the above to say, even with the challenges, the fact that we as parents have been out once in 18 months, the exhaustion, I guess I have to admit, I can't imagine my life without a 3 year old.  Okay, that is a lie, every once is a while, I think I would just like to go to supper or trivia, but then I remember, I need to be told I look like a zebra, I need to pick out a tutu for the next day, I need to color or play games, I need to put pretty braids in her long locks and I have to gain a little bit more of a fight in me to ensure my health struggles are put to the side so I can enjoy more frustration, aggravation and laughter, unconditional love and devotion from my little gal.....

Okay, that is the only sap you will get from me, hope you enjoyed the 3 year old public service announcement, and shame on all of you who didn't tell me about the true facts...and again, sorry to those who on top of this list also deal with temper tantrums, this post would have had a lot more swearing if I had to endure that, so I do feel for ya!  I just assume she is holding out for a bit longer to work up the energy to make it a good one!  And when it happens, I will certainly let you know.

Toodles!

Here is it, the long awaited blog about Colonoscopy's

It has taken me a long time, to both muster up the courage to write a blog about colonoscopy's, and to put my dignity aside for this important public service announcement, so bare with me - ha, no pun intended.  If you are booked for your first colonoscopy, I apologize in advance, you may be scared shitless (pun intended), but if you are like many, who really don't display any symptoms or present with a reason to have a scope, but your age is creeping near 50, your time will come.  There isn't one person reading this who won't someday be faced with this wonderful procedure (and by wonderful I do mean life saving - yet embarrassing, kill me know type of procedure).

For those who don't want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, better stop reading;  and for my friends, or perhaps moreso the people who really don't know me, I am about to share WAY TOO MUCH information!  But I figure if I can talk about newborn shit, talk about shit samples, surely I can get my words on this blog and tell you about clearing out shit and having a tube and a camera in spots no tube and camera should be...see, too much info, but hell, you could google, worse, you could YouTube it.

Here we go, I dare say I am an expert in the "Art of Scopes", September 19th marked my 6th scope of varying types all before the age of 40.  When you visit the "scope clinic" and the secretary and all the nursing staff know you, it is a sign you are there way too much.  If you can imagine, the secretary even recalled Mom, but said, "I didn't remember your Mom giving me a 1-800 # before to reach her at"...sigh, can we say frequent flyer.  This visit, I even headed straight for the cabinet with the gowns and before she finished all the instructions, I was off to my "regular" changing room and seat.  But I must back up (lord, there are going to be way too many jabs I can make during this post, please note I am not meaning to do that, just happens)...I need to discuss the PREP.

When you hear a patient who has experienced a scope, and they say the PREP is the worse part of the procedure, believe them.  There is really no comparison, the preparation day(s) are much, much worse than the actual procedure, granted, you are usually so drugged you don't realize you are having the procedure, hence the reason it is a walk in the park.

Now there are different kinds of preps, some  are better than others and it definitely depends on your Dr, if you here Go Lightly (while not spelled this way, it sounds like this)...you will NOT be going lightly, you will be parking your ass on the toilet for an entire day and wishing you had a baby around with diaper rash cream...there are drinks that taste like chalk, mixed with vomit, also NOT good, but my last two preps I had the "delightful" Pico-Salax, or for $4.00 cheaper the generic brand of Purg-Odan...at the end of the day, they are all the same thing, just different consistencies, rules, taste...they all do the same thing - clean the colon (aka, deflate your body of more liquid and shit than you thought possible).  Now, why I can "handle" the Pico Salax, it is an orange flavoured drink, fizzy, and just mixed with a half glass of water, you have to drink 8 glasses of water with each sachet, most will have to take 2, but some 3.  This of course goes in your body after you have starved for 12-24 hours.  While the flavour is appreciated after no food, and beats the chalky / vomit tasting drink, you will want to steer clear of oranges for the foreseeable future, as it will bring back flashbacks.  Now they call this the test prep, but this is no high school folks, there is no test, no quiz at the end of the day, this prep is preparing you for a long night of bathroom visits, instant grumbling in the belly and oh joy, the big exam!

So here are the details (I will spare you all of the details and try to maintain an ounce of dignity, but you can fill in the blanks)...I will say, if I was writing this after my first scope, I'm sure I would have a few more traumatic events to share, but now that I'm a pro scoper, I know what to expect, which drink I prefer and almost can relax (almost).

- After starving, you mix your first delicious drink, think Sex on the Beach (the drink people, the drink)...I prefer my prep drink on the rocks, tall glass with a fun umbrella, but to each their own.  While it isn't a huge glass you have to drink, it isn't something you can chug either, but about 5 gulps and it is gone.  USE ice though, warm orange fizzy drinks are not recommended.

- Then you wait.   And Wait....  And Wait.  Everyone is different, and each prep drink is different, some drinks work within minutes and you will want to set up camp either outside the bathroom door, or rest in the bathtub so you can jump to the toilet at a moments notice, but the Pico Salax strangely takes its time.  Now, I wouldn't suggest working on prep day, as you really don't know, but it can take a few hours to really "kick in - and out".  Now, having crohns (here comes the too much info), bathroom visits are a part of my life, but I can imagine someone who is not use to this fast action, would get quite the surprise.  It does happen though, the gurgles start in your belly and you move ever so closer to the bathroom, then you do a mad dash, holy lord, I think I just lost 5 pounds!  And this continues, 5 lbs, 10lbs, 15lbs...okay, perhaps not that extreme, but for those parents, do you remember when your baby power puked for the first time (spit up for those parents without an alien baby like we had)...and you panicked and called the nurse and said to the nurse, "my baby just threw up the entire bottle", and she said, "no, it was probably just 1/8th of the bottle"...well, it is probably like that, so lets say you lose a lb of shit each visit to the bathroom...it is a good weight loss plan, trying to squeeze in to that dress for an upcoming event, head to the drug store for a little Pico Salax - or buy Spanx, the other weight deceiving product!  No need to explain each and every bathroom trip, but you will no doubt think you can't possibly have anything left in you, your 8 glasses of water surely are long gone and the food you ate when you were 10 is long gone, lord, even the gum you swallowed in class that the teachers said would stay in your system for 50 years has made its way out...you are clean...this goes on for approx 3-6 hours...and great news, the day of the procedure, you get to do it again.

Just remember

Gurgling = get ready
Bubbles = move closer to the bathroom
Gurgling / Bubbles / Pain = run, you are about to explode!

Now, if your house is like mine, you have not enjoyed going to the washroom alone since your child arrived, hell, in my house, I haven't been to the bathroom alone since the cat and dog arrived that would be 10 years, but this is one time you kick them all out - this is a scene, and noise that no other human needs to witness, be a part of, unless you really hate them and want them to have nightmares for the next 12 months.  And when I mentioned diaper cream - I'm not too far off...you will greatly appreciated baby wipes....toilet paper just won't cut it, after your 20th visit to the bathroom you just want to wear a diaper soaked with Vaseline, this is also the time when you start to think, I can have clear liquids, Vodka is a clear liquid, I think I need an f'n Vodka!

So, you make it through the prep - it is like passing your Driver's License on the first try, you suffered through the test, the prep and now you are in the home stretch...you will be overjoyed, the worse is over with!  Really, I promise.  All you have to suck up now is complete embarrassment, sharing way too much information, realizing the Dr and Nurse will see more of you than any other human being every will or should...but you will get through it.

You head to the hospital, proud that you have lost 5 lbs and have a squeaky clean colon, bet you always wished for that accomplishment and the staff are all respectful and professional.  These ladies and men talk shit for a living, ask some of the most personal questions out there and in the process make you realize that you are just another ass...I wonder if they go home at night and say, I had a real ass on the table today...just a thought!  I know a lot of asses, I dare say when their ass gets on the table their true colors will shine through and the Dr will say this quote (hell, I think I will ask at my next appointment how many asses and "real asses" he has had on the table).  Okay, so back to the hospital, you have to show up an hour before your procedure, get admitted for your procedure and get prepped for the procedure, this involves doing a lengthy questionnaire with the nurse, you know the normal questions, do you have any piercings, metal clips, dentures, oh, they do nurse things too - blood pressure, what do you know, mine has spiked, 80/75, IV started, bravo to the nurse this past visit, first try and no squirting blood - I'm usually not that lucky and lord knows I was dehydrated.  She then brings you a warm blanket and you wait your turn...Again, at least in my experiences here in Charlottetown, they have all been lovely, my "usual" scope nurse arrives and says, "you are not here again", I explained that I just love visiting them so much and want to ensure they all had job security - sadly, I am probably really helping out their profession.  You will be wheeled down to the procedure room, while not an operating room, it kind of is, but this one has camera's, oh yes, just to make sure you feel totally uncomfy, there is the big screen TV, and all the tubes and cameras to the side...yes folks, your colon will be flashed on the big screen for all to see, they even take a video, now, they haven't offered it up for sale, but perhaps I should ask!  I mean, they sell dance recital video's, surely the colonoscopy video is just as exciting!  The Dr comes in, in my case, Dr Clark, who starts off by saying, "do you have any questions, and don't ask me if you are going to die, you won't" - he has been my Dr for too long and knows me too well, I deep down know I'm his favorite patient, but I dare say I have asked the man 500 times if I will die and if so, when.  He then asks me about my shopping trip (another sign I see him way too much). we start talking about New Hampshire shopping, I'm lying on my side (oh yes, that is what they will do, heart monitor, oxygen, IV and on your side you go), I faintly remember telling him I always feel better in NH and then I am out.  Now, I get lots of drugs, having been awake for one scope and able to watch the entire procedure and seeing what my colon looks like proved to be a tad too much on my first visit, so now, the nurse asks the Dr how much sedation and he says LOTS!  And I say, LOTS AND LOTS.  That is my recommendation, drift off to dreamland, hell, Greta is up 6 nights out of 7 these days, this may have been my best hope at a deep sleep, I was taking it.

The next thing you know, you are in the recovery room, the blood pressure cuff tightening every 5 minutes and I faintly hear the nurses say her pressure is dropping, yet I hear another nurse say, it dropped a lot during the procedure, so 50 is coming up...not good, but I'm alive...made it through the prep, the procedure, and....wait, what is this, there is a rule...and a difficult rule for some, perhaps a fun one for others...but not I...this is worse than having a camera moving through my body ... during the procedure they pump you full of air, lots of it...and that air must come out.  The rule is, you don't get to leave recovery until you expel that air...now, nothing like the farting orchestra that is playing in the scope recovery room, but yikes, that is horrendous, worse, you hear the nurses talking, "did he fart yet, did you hear if she expelled gas yet"...kill me now.  Being the dignified gal I am, I always ask to go the bathroom, of course, I am so stoned, I can't walk nor see, but my stomach is going to explode, I need two nurses to carry me to the washroom and they don't want to leave you, so they stand outside the door, holding the damn door knob and continuously open the door to see if you have passed out, and they keep their ear to the door to ensure the air starts to disappear, guess they are worried your colon will explode!  So, that is it...easy as riding a bike!  You have officially earned another day off work, as you are so stoned you come home and sleep the rest of the day, eventually you want to try food, because you have now gone 48 hours plus with no solid food, the thought of oranges, soup broth or jello makes you want to vomit and like all great patients, you start to crave McD's...yes, it is true...

Oh yes, almost forgot, while they are doing the scope, they remove polyps if they see any (pre-cancerous lesions or growths), in my case, they also take biopsies to see what degree my crohns is in, and then you wait for a few weeks for your follow up.  I have been fortune thus far to have cancer free scopes, just received my latest colon cancer free status yesterday at 5pm, but it is a worry, everyone isn't so lucky.  While they say you don't have to have your first scope until 50, don't take a chance, if you have any concerns, worries, get in, early detection can save your life, sadly, I have lost some of the most amazing people to colon / bowel cancer, and medical advances have come a long way...put the embarrassment to the side, and get your ass on that table.  It will be over before you know it and hey, you lose a few lbs, just do it!

This is my October 2013 public service announcement, signing off for now - Toodles!

What to write, what to say, what to do....

I can no longer make excuses for not writing, it is not that I don't enjoy writing a blog post, but lately, laziness, lack of creativity, lack of energy all join forces and I have gone months again without writing a post.  Certainly not for a lack of topics, while our life may not be overly exciting, I am sure I had enough things to poke fun at or discuss.

But where to start...ummm.

Greta

• Greta had an amazing time during our August holiday to Maine and New Hampshire, and I think Darren and I both can say it was a successful trip.  While I usually go to shop til you drop, this trip was more about Greta, mixed with a little bit of shopping.  She actually proved to be a very good shopping partner, no Lisa or Renilda mind you, but still, very impressive for three.  Doesn't hurt that if she touched something I bought it for her, but that isn't the point, we all know she is spoiled beyond reason, she didn't have any meltdowns, no embarrassing moments, she didn't point out the "friends of Walmart" worthy patrons and make a comment like, "Mommy, why is that man wearing a bra and see through top at Walmart", phew, would hate to embarrass a customer like that....overall, she gets a gold star in my books.  

•  The highlight of the trip by far was Storyland, a mini Disney (well, very much MINI) but to a three year old, it may have been the real deal.  I was equally impressed.  It is a theme park with storybook characters, the main attraction, the pumpkin coach ride that took us up to Cinderella's castle, where Cinderella greeted us, she was almost leaping out of the Coach, I had the camera ready to snap a pic of her running up to her idol and wrapping her little arms around her legs and not letting go, that however wasn't quite the scene.  It was more, "come on Greta, other boys and girls want to see Cinderalla, this is your chance"...this comment as she has her arms wrapped around my knees, so alas, we got the picture, with me hugging Cinderella with a terrified Greta in my arms.  Thankfully, she still says this was the best part of her summer, so in her eyes, I take that to mean she hugged her!  We did have to do the Coach a few times!  Despite being shy, she really loved watching the other kids, danced in the aisles at the musical shows, loved the circus acts and is a ride junkie.  Mommy, not so much, lets just say, there is no need for this Mommy to go on a Whale Ride that bounces up and down, while it was adorable to hear her giggle and grin ear to ear, when you almost upchuck post ride as the kids all run around saying lets do it again, you feel like a tool! 

• We really tried to make the best out of the summer, I don't think there was one weekend that we sat still,  there was always a great event on the Island, or a place to discover, we didn't make it to the beach much, but when we did go she loved it, my ass is still trying to recover from the Belfast Corn Maze ride in the barrels, ironically just yesterday when I picked Greta up from the sitter we were taking a back road to home that is an extremely bumpy dirt road and she said, "Mommy, this is just like that bumby barrel ride where your bum got hurt, my bum didn't get hurt"...no joke, that is because she was sitting on me!  I took the brunt of the pain!  Still a great adventure.

• We were swimming lots, soccer was a fairly successful sport, she at least spent more time on her feet than sitting in the grass picking flowers, however she certainly still had her moments.  Greta's dislike for children does sadly continue, she very much likes her personal space and doesn't do well with little ones touching her, even when they are just being loving kids.  We need to work on this, although the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I still remember the karate chop I perfected when people tried to touch my prego bump.  So, I really can't blame her!  Heck, I may even encourage it more.  

• That brings us to the latest activity, while I always sit back in amazement at the kids who are in multiple activities, I just don't have the energy, nor do I feel Greta needs to have a busier social life than I at three years old, so we will be a one activity at a time family...that said, our latest adventure is Step Dance Class.  Talk about cute.  She won't leave the house without a tutu and is doing great listening to the teacher and with such a small class, only 4 (and as of tonight, I hear just 3), I think it will be something enjoyable for her.  Of course, she refused to go this past Sunday because she was afraid of an overly loveable little gal that liked to enter in to her personal space bubble, but you win some and you lose some...Mommy would have made her go, Daddy was home with her and refused to take her when she freaked. 

•  And to finish up the ode to Greta, she is one smart little cookie (although she quickly corrects me when I call her that and says she is a Girl!).  She is learning to count in French (my limited french speaking ability has been passed long, after this, she will have to watch TV), she is a whiz at the computer, iPad, iPhone, sadly, I have to admit, better than I on all the apps, she has learned to spell and type her name and has managed to type in Mickey and Dore in the YouTube Search box to find a video, quite impressive and scary at the same time, thankfully we had them marked as favorites, otherwise who knows what she would have found!  

The Parents

• We are boring and our money all goes to Greta!  Enough said...ha!

• Hockey and football is returned, so while I see Darren's truck in the driveway, I rarely see or talk to him, I did check on him once in the basement to see if he was alive, he was, no rotten smell in the house of a rotting body, so all is good, I suspect I may see him a tad more in the spring!  

• We are in the 40th year countdown, Darren has 22 days remaining until the big 40, I have less than 6 months, seriously, I remember when 40 seemed so old, now I'm thinking, what was all the fuss about...Of course, I may have a break down as it rolls around, so I'll hold out my full thoughts until it is actually here.  But I must say, there is a reason why people should have kids earlier, as 40 year old bones, energy levels, patience levels are not quite that of a 20 something...

• I'm still sick, but I'm still here, hitting my 40th bday was my goal, sad but true.  But I'm surviving somewhat, I'm exhausted, stressed, disguisted, disappointed in too many things to count, but I'm on this side of the ground, so I guess I should shut my mouth.  That said, my invite only funeral list is getting smaller, can't say it enough, nothing like having a kid or being sick to make you realize who matters and who doesn't, and what matters and what doesn't.  My tolerance level is much, much smaller than even a year ago and while I realize I have a rough road ahead, I am thankful for those who have been there with a friendly word, encouragement, positive vibes and sometimes just a hello.  Ha, you made the list!!!!!  Not going to do a sad sappy I'm dying blog tonight, but life really is short, and you just never do know what tomorrow will bring.  

So, that is the blog, nothing too funny, definitely not exciting.  The fish is still alive, 1 year, 1 month and 6 days, it still is my greatest accomplishment of the past 13 months, so that deserves a notable mention in the blog, and I had a great time shopping with two co-workers in Moncton this past weekend, sadly, we collectively bought so much, my stuff is in my Mothers truck in Moncton as there was no room to bring things home, it was just what the Dr ordered (literally, she said I needed a shopping trip - how awesome is that).

All for now, hope I will be back sooner than later, Toodles.