Another calendar page is ready to flip, where are the months going. April is here! It is usually my favorite month, the smell of spring (minus the mounds of dog crap around that is in desperate need to be cleaned up), the first Robins, the first flowers popping up, the Easter decorations that are hitting the stores. I just always liked April, but wow, now that it is April, I can start talking in the amount of weeks I have left before preparing to return to work...8 weeks and counting. I have a full 8 weeks that will include - trips, showers (not the daily one I have, but wedding and baby ones), a wedding, visits, Doctor appts, I have no doubt all the activities I have in the book are going to make the next 8 weeks fly by. The past 9 months as I have written so many times have been so very interesting, I have learned and done things I never dreamt would be part of my reality, I still go in to Greta's room at night and think, oh my goodness, there is a baby in the crib, in my house, and she belongs to me...WTF! You would think after 9 months of feeding, changing, shopping for, rocking, carrying and playing with a baby that it would have fully sunk in, but honestly, I sometimes take a double take and think, WOW, when did this all happen!!! I don't know if others feel that, maybe those who always knew they were going to be parents don't experience this reality jolt, but it happens often for me, of course, I can't really recall our "old life", it feels like Greta has just always been part of our lives, good thing, other wise I would head out the door and the poor little thing would be sitting with her toys or sleeping in her crib thinking, damn, that woman forgot about me again! I am happy to say, I have not left her once...although sometimes I am driving to the store or an appointment and I will check the back seat just to make sure I did bring her (for the record, she is just really quiet in the car).
So, 9 months have passed since little Greta has joined the world and it has me thinking yet again, who is a friend. This month has been such an eye opener, I was going to refrain from discussing friendships again, but I think it is my form of therapy to talk about it, and who knows, maybe shed light for others. I started to think about friendships as yesterday was my Birthday! Another year older and wow, do I ever hope and pray the year ahead will have a bit more luck shining on me (okay, I'm just looking for no bad luck and crazy things like last year), a lot more good news in the health department and I hope it is the year that I finally stand up for myself and stop letting others actions bother or upset me. I can no longer make excuses in my head for those that have not come near in 9 months, I had a baby, and yes, I have had a hell of a year with sickness, but I have liver disease, not a rare contagious disease that you will catch if you walk through my door. And sadly, I'm not talking just "friends"... family who live within a 20 minute radius of our home have not met Greta or maybe have given up 40 minutes in the last 9 months to "see her". Family of course is a word I use with some sarcasm, just because you may have a hint of the same blood line, does not mean you deserve to have a relative title. I realize there are many children I haven't met in person, but that is where Facebook becomes weird, there are Facebook friends that I feel via pictures and comments know Greta so well and I know their children and that is perfect! I love seeing a picture and commenting and equally enjoy reading a comment that a friend has posted. I don't expect to fly across the country and meet up for lunch, it would be nice of course, but FB has allowed connections and friendships to be regained and built around technology and for many friendships, I can honestly say I feel closer to some people that I haven't seen in 20 years because we can chat and share via FB than to some people I see regularly. But then there are the friends who you considered a part of your life outside of Facebook, who live in your town, who have celebrated milestones, careers, "life" that should have made some efforts and haven't. It was actually a Facebook comment last night that brought this issue to light yet again. As I read a Status Post from a new Mom of a sweet little boy (and although our friendship is via FB and she "found" me because she was a blog follower), she asked the question: where are the friends, where are the invites? Becoming a Mom doesn't mean you can't go out, that you can't go to supper, that you can't have visitors. I hated to read she was feeling the same way I was, but at the same time, felt a little bit relieved that this is not all in my head, that it happens to tons of people when a baby enters the world. And for those reading, I'm not saying this as a plea to come visit, it would just be awkward now anyway, I am writing it to make myself feel better and to tell those who are experiencing the fair weather friendships, that there is a time to just let it go and realize that some friendships and family relationships come to an end, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think 37 and 1 day old is a good time to say, I have better things to worry about, alot of things actually, but I do feel sad for those that will miss out on meeting some sweet little babies.
Anyway, despite my NEW Age, I feel about 77 but who is counting! I have thought about moving, divorce, dying, rotten relatives and friends, have thought about how lucky I am to have some wonderful friends and family, have eaten 2 yummy cupcakes, did have to return to changing diapers after my b-day break, reluctantly let Darren take Greta for a visit to Rustico, have been too lazy to turn the TV channel so I have watched cartoons all afternoon...ummm, that pretty much sums up 37 so far...surely I can only go up from here! I must also send a shout out and explain the picture at the top of the blog...Each year on my birthday I think about my Truro friends, the birthday parties, the themes, the toys of the day, the must have group party shot! Although my memory is poor, I do remember the birthdays! I have valued Facebook for many reasons, but despite moving away from my NS friends when I was 12 years old, reconnecting with those from NS is probably why I struggle deleting my Facebook profile. I love seeing how so many are still friends, and I think fair to say best friends, and I so genuinely appreciate the conversations I've had, watching their families grow via pictures and hearing from them. I miss being a kid, well, I think I do, at least miss being a kid in the 70s and 80s (not so sure I would want to be a kid today), we didn't even talk on the phone, you actually saw each other, went to play Barbies at each others house...or Dukes of Hazard in our neighbourhood, the parents would call you in at dusk, where you would go in to your house that didn't have a key to the door, and if it did have a key, who knows where it was, because the doors were never locked! Life was just so much easier back then. Now, as much as I am a techie communicator, Facebook has created a lot of imaginary friends. As I said, my birthday was yesterday and since I didn't have it posted on Facebook, 6 people remembered. This is life now, if a birthday doesn't pop up on the side of Facebook, it is forgotten. I do remember birthdays, but it took some work, and I am sure there are some I have forgotten over the years, but I really, really do my best to keep the dates written down and messages sent out. I did have a nice day, Mom of course went overboard and the house looked more like Christmas, and our friends Garry and Gwen and my old neighbour Janet joined us for a lovely supper, so much food that I am still not hungry and it's almost 4pm the following day.
So I leave you with this today...who are your friends...Do you have a list of 500 people on your Facebook, are they really your friends or were you in a competition to see how quickly you could gather up friends on FB. Do you comment on their photos, do you write them a message, or say hello once in awhile. If you don't, why are they there? If you needed a shoulder to lean on, do you think they would be there. Would you know their birthday if it wasn't posted for you to see, would you know their kids and pets names, do you care what they are doing or are you just creeping around on their profiles hoping they have misfortune and bad luck. I have learned a little too much this month about Frenemies (like the Push Present - I swear I am not making this up), it actually has hit the dictionary. As the Urban Dictionary states - It is the type of "friend" whose words or actions bring you down(whether you realize it as intentional or not). The type of friend you ought to cut off but don't because...they're nice... good ...you've had good times with them. You know ... they're good people that you can count on to bring you down again sometime in the near future. The friend you may or may not have cornered about their quicksand like ways and keep around because "its in the past"... and so was one minute ago. The person that will continue to bring you down until you demand better for yourself. When you ask yourself is that person my friend or enemy...they are your frenemy. Straighten them out or leave them. Don't put up with it.
Toodles!
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