How did I get here!!!

Good Evenings folks, back to back blogs, I'm even impressing myself! I had a busy day, an exhausting day, and a good day! Greta slept fairly good last night, she ate at midnight (aka, Daddy and Greta time) and slept through until 6am, I fed her and put her in the swing and we slept a few more hours, mind you, she really wanted to stay up, I wanted to continuously put the soother in her mouth and cross my fingers it would sooth her enough to whisk her off to dream land. I was wiped out. It seemed to be an off day for both of us, just a little cranky, over tired, hungry kind of day. I had my final appt with Dr. B, in a strange way, it is kind of sad to not have any more kids (I said strange, don't get idea's that I'm regretting the one kid decision, that is not where this blog entry is going), but sad that you find a great Dr and a great nurse and once the baby arrives, you get your walking papers and I will not have to return for appts. I was given the okay to start exercising AGAIN, those who really know me are laughing lots now. I use to exercise (yes, I was a good gymnast in my day, jogged, did insane sit ups every night), but then I quickly learned that I could keep my figure without killing myself, my metabolism mixed with bad eating habits, throw in crohns and presto, I just didn't have to worry about weight and hours in the gym burning calories. But the AGAIN part kind of threw me. I was informed that I have to take it easy but my c-section incision looked pretty good, so if I did a 10 intensity workout before, I can start off with a 1 intensity. It was hard not to laugh, and I refrained from embarrassing myself by asking, well, what if I was at a -10 for exercising intensity, do I slowly move up from that!!! Greta joined me for the appt, thankfully she didn't embarrass me while we were out, I was concerned, she didn't do the deed today (you know, the shit), so I had visions of an explosion in her car seat while sitting in a filled Dr's office with mothers-to-be sitting all around, I guess it may have been a good thing for the first time mothers, because I would have appreciated some warning about this, but mission accomplished, she was a very, very good girl. I also ran in to an old friend who is expecting her first baby any day now, so it was nice to chat and wish her well, she was feeling so many of the fears and anxiety I did just 8 weeks ago. Hard for me to tell someone it will all go okay, as I hated people telling me that, but I said it anyway, as I know she has a healthy baby on the way!

This appt also had me thinking...how in the heck did I get here (well, not technically), but this was not what I visioned. I'm a planner, a good planner, and I have visions, I see how things will work out, and I didn't see this coming. As I drove off from the appt I thought back as far as my poor memory could go to see if there were "signs" that someday a little baby girl would be sitting in my back seat, and nope!

I played with Barbies as a young girl, do you know what the Barbie did, she drove the fancy car, had the big motorhome, amazing house, hot boy toy, and had a great wardrobe (I mean this gal could shop)...but my Barbie NEVER had a baby, maybe there was one in the house, but she wasn't brought along on the outings that I recall...sign #1.

Cabbage Patch - now, maybe this was moving in the right direction, Meredith was my biggest Christmas Surprise ever. I never thought Santa would be able to get one, it was the first year they were out and people were knocking people to the floor to get one, standing in line for days hoping to get one ugly, stuffed doll (much like the IPhones last week), but she was all mine that Christmas morning. And although I adopted her, dressed her in cute clothes, I left her with a nanny to be watched....and I used the diapers to dress up our Cocker Spaniel Muffin. Sign #2.

Babysitting - Are you kidding, I wouldn't babysit, I didn't do diapers!!! No money in the world was worth that. I did walk the neighbours baby (umm, that sounds like it was a dog) - I mean, I would take the baby for a walk in the stroller, but that was it. I did watch my mothers friends daughter ONCE...she was 5 or 6 and a brat, she was sitting on top of a dresser and I told her to get down, she said I couldn't make her, I went to move her and she told me she would tell her mother I beat her. To this day, I kind of wish I did ! That was it for babysitting! Sign #3.

Well, I'll leave it at 3 signs, but I know there were more to indicate that a baby girl would never be sitting in my back seat, but she is! Greta has certainly been an unexpected surprise in our lives and I can finally admit that it is the biggest and most pleasant surprise I could have imagined. And not just because she is a great accessory, and I can dress her up and shop more (although that is a bonus point for her), but she is a sweet little baby girl and although she has only been on this earth for 8 weeks, we can't imagine our lives without her. I won't get the mother of the year award, not even mother of the week or even minute, but we are surviving, somewhat competent, sane (which is just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you reading) and we may actually do okay! We have our moments, and there are days that I want Darren to take over the stay at home role, and times I just want to make plans without thinking about a poop and eating schedule (for Greta - not me), but I guess our new life isn't too bad, it's just very, very different. As I see her personality blossoming, I am hoping this "boring" phase is over and it will become more fun and not feel like such a chore, people tell me that it will happen. Scarlet is looking forward to Greta being more "fun" too. I hope I can be healthy enough to enjoy it, it won't be fun for little Greta to have a sick Mommy. I will be out of commission next week, I am booked for a 2nd attempt at my liver biopsy on Monday, looks like they are admitting me and getting to the bottom of things. I'm still hoping I get to come home, not too interested in a hospital visit and their food, but better to get it over with now before Greta is more active and on the go.

"Greta Claire, may you touch fireflies and stars, dance with fairies, and talk to the man in the moon. May you grow up with love and gracious hearts and people who care. Welcome to the world, little one. It's been waiting for you."

Toodles everyone!