How Special....

Well, today a big milestone was achieved...the end of my maternity nutritionist appointments. I have had regular appointments since the little creature I have been growing sucked the nutrient stores from me and they (my Gastro Specialist and Nutritionist) decided that it was best to eliminate good FOOD from my diet, such as fruit, veggies, dairy, wheat's and let me eat high calorie candy, pop and french fries due to my crohns. Their goal was to ensure I didn't need to have bowel surgery while prego, which therefore meant the elimination of any fiber from the diet. I have to admit, what I have been able to eat for many would be a dream, but I greatly miss things like nachos, stir fry, fajitas with green pepper and onion...oh, fattening or not, I would give my right arm for an order of onion rings!!! AHHH, someday perhaps. So, despite my fattening diet, my metabolism is freakishly off the charts, so eating fries and white bread is like eating lettuce and celery at every meal for me. No worries - I'm not complaining that much!

Well, my last appointment started in a rush - because of course, I was running late. You would think being on time for an 11:30 appt would not be difficult, but why ruin my image! I did gain a few minutes, prego or not, I was flown around the hospital parking lot like a rag doll due to the high winds the Island is experiencing, it was insane, my hair that I so carefully styled (okay, it was in the usual pony tail, but I did brush it and spray down the bangs) within 10 seconds was everywhere but in the elastic, and I flew in to the building. I arrived and head to admitting where there is only one staff person and 8 of us waiting, of course, I'm arriving at my appt time, so running behind to the nutritionist was blamed on the staff issues at admitting! And then the appt begins....

Nutritionist. How many more weeks do you have?
Gail. Just next week, Section is next Thursday
N. Isn't that just wonderful
Gail. I guess

N. Let's see how much you weigh
G. Do we have to, as I step on the scale...(what do you know, a pound less than what I was on the Dr's scale, BUT, a pound higher according to her chart from three weeks ago - so lets just say, I'm still even)
N. Isn't that just wonderful
Gail. I guess

N. Is your Dr. okay with the weight gain
G. He thinks she will be 7.5 lbs
N. Isn't that just wonderful

Ha, I swear to the universe....this went on and on. So, we then discuss my hospital food menu, oh boy, can't wait!!! She showed me the menu's for next week, and besides lemon pudding on one of the days, I was realizing starvation was going to kick in...but no, they are doing a special meal plan just for moi (and all other prego people who can't eat fruit, veggies, dairy, wheat and who don't eat red meat, pork or fish - so, yes, just me)....So, I'll be eating eggs, chicken and FRENCH FRIES. Woo Hoo!

We then chat about formula, guess the hospital is using Similac, I thought it was Good Start, so looks like I'll have some more shopping to do...But I admit to her that I'll hopefully send a stash of formula home with Darren each night (as per all my friends recommendations) and I hear the words...you can't do that anymore as the hospital is part of the Breast Feeding initiative and are not supplying the formula like they use to...she said I'll be sent home with a bottle...rats, there goes the month supply I was hoping for.

Anyway, then I become a special person!!!! She decides to call the Maternity Ward to confirm the formula brand and ask a question for me about visitors (which there are none allowed). I was hoping she was just going to do a general inquiry, but nope, she explains my name and due date. She then calls the nurse manager back to ask about the need of caregivers staying (again, good news, the nurses will do the work, Darren or my Mother are not required to stay). But then it happens, she asked if I had a tour of the Maternity Ward and I sheepishly admit, we skipped Baby Classes (I know, I know....but I was in denial, you can't attend baby classes when you don't believe you are going to actually have a baby)..So she said, lets go. I insisted it was not necessary at all, that every friend I have has multiple children and I pretty much knew the nursing staff on a first name basis, but she insists. Then the overwhelming feeling happened, I resorted back to a 12 year old switching schools at Christmas time, Grade 7, and being taken by the principal to the new classroom, where he did the talking and I just stood there thinking, "kill me now". Back to reality, I'm not 36, have a protruding stomach, and am being escorted to the Maternity Ward. Our first stop, the ward nutritionist and this is the conversation / intro....

"Hi, this is Gail Edgett, she is having a baby (no shit says Greta as she kicks my stomach and her foot protrudes and moves my shirt), she is allergic to anesthetic so she is having a section next Thursday and will be having a spinal block because she cannot have the epidural, so she won't need to do the clear fluids, but because she also has crohns she will need a no residue, high calorie diet."

My head lowers in embarrassment, just a hi would have suited, or nothing at all, WHY DID WE STOP...this woman isn't going to remember me, or maybe she will, I have been labelled that Special Patient who appeared mute and stunned. The look on the ward nutritionist face was one of "okay then, good for you". She tells me they will look after my food needs and off we go. We then enter the maternity ward and I keep praying we don't stop to chat to more staff, just a quick tour. We then go to the center of the ward - where a nurse and the ward manager are working on paper work...And it happens, my Special Needs Moment occurs again, almost word for word. (SEE ABOVE) I feel like a total tool, they are looking at me with sympathetic eyes, mixed with, SOOOOO WHAT! It was the awkward silences that occurred after that were the most uncomfy, I couldn't wait to get out. One nurse was very kind and asked if this was my first baby, I gave the usual answer, "First and Last", she said, so no siblings to visit and I then added to my Special Needs Moment - well, she has a puppy sibling, does that count! UMMM, they didn't have much of a sense of humour...No was the response - go figure!

Again, I'm sure these nurses will not remember me or if they do, it will be that special girl...I have visions that on June 24th, they will be drawing the straws to see who has to care for me, and that isn't a positive, they'll be praying they don't get the short straw!! As we are walking out of the unit, the nutritionist starts to head in to the nursery, I state quite firmly that I have been in there many times to see baby's over the years, no need...so thankfully there were no more explanations of all my issues and who I was.

So great to be special!

Other accomplishments...car seats are installed - anyone expecting a baby - Motor Vehicle installs the car seats (for free), checks they for defects, dates, straps them in, etc, etc...Great service and he said only about 300 people a year are taking their cars in, so call and book an appt, we certainly wouldn't have had our seat in right or even, they put "noodles" under them!

And woo - hoo, hair appt tomorrow, phew, I'll have nice hair for the hospital.

Bouncey seat assembled by moi - no swearing!