I have had a very, very fortunate life, I can't deny I was spoiled rotten, had everything I could ever need (and want), but have never been ungrateful or unappreciative. I enjoyed a lovely home, a summer home and cottage vacations by the beach, I experienced living in four different provinces and have travelled to many beautiful and fascinating locations. I always had wonderful birthday parties, respectful boyfriends and encouragement to be anything I wanted to be (although I'm sure if I chose to be an exotic dancer - I would have lost some support). I have witnessed sickness and death, heartache and misery, I have had my heart broken and friendships swayed. My career path has been successful because I worked damn hard at it and had the education that allowed me to enjoy it. I learned to be professional at a very young age because I had a business guru mother, and now all of these have lead to lessons I can now pass along....
1) Everything I am or hope to be, I owe to my Mother.
I never in a million years would have believed this as a child, NEVER. I may have had a spoiled life, but I know I was a brat, a sassy kid and a handful. I distinctly remember my mother telling me (I think probably daily) that she hoped the universe punished me with giving me a child just like me! Lord help us all. My mother taught me how to answer the phone correctly and take appropriate messages, she taught me how to shake hands with confidence and always look at people in the eyes when doing so, she taught me how to shop (yes, there is someone to blame) and she definitely showed me that the world was there for me to enter and be what I wanted to be. She is also the most generous person, staying up until 2am baking muffins for her students, buying gifts, giving money, helping, organizing and looking after people when she has no energy left in her body to do so.
2) Treat everyone as equals
I always knew this lesson, I don't think it was discussed growing up, it didn't have to be, I think I just knew it. It was not until I became an adult that I witnessed hatred, racism and bigotry. Children can teach adults a lot, and I think that is the true lesson, a child doesn't hate someone because of color, sexual orientation or religion, they are just playing with the kid next door. I hope Greta has friends from all cultures and backgrounds, and is not swayed by one religion or belief, but instead recognizes that the universe has created us all as equals, we may just be different, but different never means superior or better. If she wishes to be Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu or choose to pray to the animal Gods, I hope that she will be respected because she is a human being with values and feelings.
3) Get an Education
Education is the ticket to great opportunities and an accomplishment that can never be taken away once received. I am scared to death to think how much an education will cost in 18 years, but we will do our best to make sure she has the financial means to pursue what she wishes...I just hope it's a career that makes her lots of money - she will decide our retirement home you know and I don't want to live in a slum...ha (okay, kind of takes away from my above comment with respecting her decision to do what she wants, she can be an exotic dancer - after her medical degree!!!)
4) Self Reliance
At the end of the day, you have to look after yourself. When the going gets tough, friends leave, family may not be around and you have to figure things out for yourself. So, make your own money, know how to balance your check book (okay, this is one of the lessons I still am working on), always pay your bills on time, travel on your own, and never, ever, ever depend on a man (that is from my mother too!). You need to make your own future and know you can survive on your own, if you find someone to share it as an equal, even better.
5) Be kind to animals
I always had pets (more like a personal zoo), and I can't imagine life without one. At the end of the day, friends go, love ends but the affection from your animals - that undying, total devotion and joy your pets show you when you walk through the door I feel is the most genuine and honest love someone will ever show you. I never have once denied that I love my pets more than humans and it's because I know they will never let me down, and when I'm in the worse mood possible, Scarlet can look at me and I have to smile (and say, You are so Cute!). I hope Greta has loving pets and treats them with the utmost respect. And I draw the line at snakes, rats and lizard like creatures, they can show love at someone else's house, I want her to enjoy furry critters that can kiss her face and cuddle!
6) Write Thank You Notes
B grateful for what you have been given, kindness shown and for opportunities provided...It goes a long way, is personal and meaningful. And not enough people send them!
7) Stay away from Drugs and Cigarettes
I just mean it!!!! They are poison, the route of sickness and evil, and it's not worth typing about ... Just don't do it! I'm going to let a kid sit in jail before I say no problem to stupidity and drug use that lead to the stupidity!
8) It could be worse
Never forget, when your life feels like it's going no where, life is over, heart ache is overwhelming, finances seem low, someone out there is struggling worse than you are! I hope compassion and understanding is at the forefront of this lesson. For example there will be times when the sale price of that perfect purse looks dreadful, just remember, in another store in another town, it could be worse...ha! Okay, that is one perspective!
9) Just do it
- Learn to speak French, and practice so you don't lose it
- Start working summer jobs as soon as you are eligible to do so
- Always vote - you will have no right to complain otherwise
- Try different foods
- Learn to sew
- Boring is sometimes good, so enjoy it
- Play an instrument
- Don't be afraid of public speaking - the one at the podium is always the expert, so the crowd won't know if you are saying things wrong!
- Be kind to the new kid in school, they are scared and lonely and could use a friendly hello
- Don't be a bully
- Sometimes you have to walk away from friendships, you will recognize who really is your friend and who isn't. Who matters and who doesn't. Some say life is too short to hold grudges, but I feel that life is too short to be hurt and feel disrespected, so sometimes you just have to move on.
- Stand up for others
- Go to the theatre and appreciate musicals and culture
10) Marry Rich
Okay folks, may get a few raised eyebrows, and I OBVIOUSLY didn't follow this advice (ha!)...my Great Aunt said this on numerous occasions - I think maybe after her 3rd marriage
"Marry RICH, at the end of the day, the love may not last but the money will and I'd rather be driving in the back of a limo than the back of the bus!"
So, it goes against the being independent and having your own money lesson I wrote earlier - and I still believe strongly in self reliance - girls need to have their own money, but it would be more fun to just bank all of that and spend the man's cash, when you have him in financial ruin, you still have your own money to play with!
So, that is it for another day in Gail's brain. If Greta stops prancing around my stomach and trying to kick her way out, I am going to hop in the car and head to NB solo tomorrow...a little visiting and shopping is on the agenda.
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